book smart vs. street smart

H is as straight as a fiddle. He does not lie (not that lying is a good thing) but having a little craftiness is important when you face the real cruel world. Can street smartness be taught, or is it something of an in-born trait? L is the total opposite. She speaks with confidence and conviction, even if it's not true.

A while back I devised this incentive system for the kids. One of the chores they have to do to earn stars is to put away their toys after playing. Every night before going to bed, I'll ask the kids if they did what they were supposed to and rewarded them with stars.

Me: Did you put away your toys after you play?

The response I get will be totally different. For H, unless he's absolutely certain he did, he will always hesitate. "I'm not sure, ask kakak"

For L, she's always certain. "Sure I did. Look around you, it's so clean!" Of course we all know it's not true, cos by the time I get home, kakak would have already cleaned up the place for the night. Kakak, on hearing L will shout out "No you didn't!", to which L will rebuke, "Yes I did! You cannot say I didn't." That's my bossy little girl in action.

I also have this rule that the kids are not allowed to play with the i-pad on weekdays. One day as soon as I got home, H came running to me apologising, "I'm sorry mommy!" I was shocked and asked him what was the matter and he said "I played with the i-pad at po-po's house." That is really taking honesty to a different level - i.e. self confession!

Me: Did you play with the i-pad too, mei mei?
L: Nope!
H: Yes she did...

Honesty and integrity are great values that should be encouraged. I need to teach L about honesty, while instilling some street smartness into H. The former should be easy, but I have no clue whatsoever on how to tackle the latter.

my noisy kids

Whenever we take the kids out, we never fail to attract stares from the public. Our little rascals are the nosiest kids ever. They are just so happy and carefree that they don't give a hoot where they are. Everywhere's like a playground to them.

Last Saturday, I took the kids to Waterfront @ Desa Parkcity to grab lunch. It's the closest place to home that's hassle free to park. We went to Rakuzen. I didn't know H is so crazy over sushi. As soon as we sat down he told me what he wanted (although he already had lunch at home). Of course L followed suit but I didn't bother ordering her any since I knew she wouldn't eat them.

So while waiting for the food to arrive, my kids started to make music. They were oblivious to the fact that they were in a restaurant full of diners trying to enjoy their meals. They happily stood on the bench and danced and sang to the beat of their chopsticks, on top of their voice! Some of the diners were amused and some not. What can I do? It's not like they'd listen to me if I told them to stop so I just let them be. At least they were happy and having fun!

 

But that thought came a little too soon cos when the sushi arrived, the kids started fighting. L wanted to take a piece but H wouldn't let her, "They're mine! I ordered 2!" But L wouldn't take no for a no (as usual) so she put her hand onto H's plate and grabbed a piece. Sigh, now everyone's looking cos H was shouting and L was crying. Everyone must think I'm such a stingy mommy for not ordering more, or a bias mommy for not ordering for the girl.

Please someone remind me not to take the kids out to restaurants next time...

screen time ruling

I often get questioned when I tell people that I limit my kids' screen time, i.e. time spent in front of the tv, computer or ipad.

Why so strict? They're kids mah, just let them enjoy!

It's sometimes hard to explain why I'm being so anal about this. I normally am quite relaxed when it comes to governing my kids, but when it comes to screen time, there's really no compromising. It's not that I don't allow them to watch tv or play video games, they do, but I try to limit their screen time. The problem with kids these days is that they get bored easily. Why? Cos they don't know how to entertain themselves. They're so used to being entertained by tv programmes, video games, etc. No doubt there are good educational programmes and games out there but I'm a traditionist. I still believe in the old fashion way of learning, i.e. through hands on exploration.

Less screen time = more active and creative play!

A case example. On our journey back to Johor last weekend, hubs decided to bring along the ipad in case the kids make noise, then we can hand them the ipad to keep them quiet. Bad move. Since we only have one ipad, they started quarrelling over it. When they aren't quarrelling, they aren't talking to each other since one of them was completely engrossed in the game. After I took away the ipad, H started complaining he was bored. He has never complained of being bored on road trips (we've never given them the ipad). He would always come up with games to play in the car. So I said "think of a game then, you're very good in thinking up games". H then came up with a game. We played for a bit then both of them started another game of silly joke making which made them giggled and laughed non-stop. Wasn't that more enjoyable? Since we hardly have time to spend with the kids, we should use such moments for family bonding by sharing laughters, etc!

There are so many things kids can do away from the screen, like playing outdoors, engaging in pretend play, reading or in my kids' case, being read to, etc. These are what H and L do everyday after school. They just love engaging in pretend play.

Less screen time = less social, mental and health problems!

H's previous preschool teacher told me once that after every school holiday, the kids would come back zombified. She said you can tell from their eyes that they've spent the entire holiday in front of the screen. TV, game console, ipad, etc are great babysitters, but use them with caution. A growing body of research links excessive television viewing to attention and learning difficulties. The reason? Most television programming, even some of the educational variety, features quick edits, flashing images and rapid sequences, as opposed to the slower pace of "real life". After prolonged exposure to tv, which conditions the mind to expect rapid-fire stimulation, kids may have difficulty staying focused  when they turn their attention to something slower, like reading a book.

Then of course there are the gadget inflicted health problems such as "ipad elbow", stiff neck, eye strain, etc. Adults may be able to take preventive measures to avoid any painful experience but the same can't be said for kids. I just can't count the number of times I have to tell the kids to lean back, don't put your face so close to the ipad, etc.

I'm not saying don't let your kids watch tv or play video games, just use your common sense and practice moderation!

Balik kampung

We went back to Johor over the weekend to visit the kids' grandparents. It's been a long overdue trip. We've been so busy towards the end of last year that we've been postponing our trip back . H adores going back as it means he can play with his cousins. Despite them only meeting a couple of times a year, there is this closeness about them, which begs us to think "How is it that H sticks to his cousins like bees to honey and not to any of his school friends despite them spending the whole year together, everyday?" It's true! H never once mentioned or asked about his teachers or friends from his preschool, ever since the day he left.

Now that H is older, he knows how to complain. On our journey there...
"Why is ah mah's house so far?"
"Why aren't we there yet?"
"I don't want to stay 1 night, I want to stay 2 nights."

On the way back, it was L's turn...
"I don't want to go this way, I want to turn around that way!" <so that we can head back to Johor>
"I don't want to go home I want to go to ah mah's house!"

So we promised the kids they can go again during the school holidays. "I want to stay for one week!" Sure, then daddy and mommy can go on a holiday :-)