Financial management for kids

I can't believe it's been 1.5 years since my last post. Baby R is turning 2 soon, and he's been such a joy to have around the house. This post is not about baby R, but what prompted me to write again is the need to jot down my thoughts on the very important life lesson of financial management.

It really is never too young to start teaching concepts of delayed gratification, savings and being prudent. Let me first start with this very light moment which we all found rather hilarious...

One Saturday morning we asked the kids if they would like to go out for breakfast with us (hubs and I normally like to eat out on weekends).
H: Then we'll have to spend money. Why can't we just eat at home?
L: OK kor you eat at home then, I'm going out with mommy & daddy!

Two kids raised in the same home, two very different perspective. H, always the prudent one; L on the other hand, can often time be demanding. We thought the above exchange was rather funny, nothing more.

But hilarious no more when I witnessed first hand the way kids these days spend money when I was given the opportunity to chaperon a bunch of kids in a school field trip recently. The kids were spending at the souvenir shop like there's no tomorrow, ravaging the shelves and filling their baskets with all kinds of toys, novelties, knick knacks, etc. I must say it was really a culture shock for me. How much money do these kids have with them? Do they really need all those stuff? They were mostly 7 to 8 year-olds and the way they were allowed to freely spend made me extremely worried. These kids are going to grow up not appreciating the value of hard earned money. I can appreciate that parents may want to shower their kids with what they want (we love our kids and we can afford to spend on them so what's wrong with that?!!), but aren't we just seeding a whole generation of entitled kids?

I remember a friend once complained to me that his teenage son demanded for a car to go to college, not just any car mind you, but an expensive sports car. We may put the blame on the kid for being materialistic, but frankly, my friend ought to take the blame too. If this boy has been given everything he wanted all his life without having to work hard for it, what can you expect? It is easy to indulge the younger kids as their demands aren't as "costly" (yet), but we are just setting ourselves up for larger and larger demands as they grow older.

I'm so glad H is still grounded. I say 'still', since he's in an environment whereby he sees his peers spending freely ever so often, and hope it stays this way. Quite often I find myself reminding my kids about how hard it is to earn a dollar, about needs vs. wants, about having to save for a rainy day, etc. I just pray and hope that they will remain grounded and not succumb to peer pressure.

teaching kids values (part 2)

One of the biggest arguments against sending kids to an international school is this whole thing about cultivating strong values. No doubt the school environment plays a part but I think the home environment plays a much bigger part. It is unfortunate that we don't spend enough time with the kids on weekdays. Hubs normally only comes home when the kids are already asleep. As for me, I try to get home as soon as I can. It helps now that my travelling time is shorter since we've moved closer to where we work, but still, by the time I finish dinner, it's almost time for the kids to get ready for bed. So at most, I only get to spend 1-1.5 hours with them before the lights go off.

H will always want to chit chat and I always feel bad that I have to cut our chit chat time cos he needs to get enough sleep.

H: Can we chit chat some more?
Me: Nope we can chit chat tomorrow, you need to sleep now!

As I close his room door I always feel guilty. What if he stops wanting to chit chat with his mommy? What if he thinks I don't care enough?

The saving grace is that we can chit chat in the car on the way to school. Hubs feels that we should get a transporter since the traffic getting out of H's school to work can be horrendous in the morning. On average, the travelling time from home to school to office is about 1.5 hours. But that will mean losing our precious chit chat time. I really don't mind the travelling time, at least it gives me time to talk to H. By understanding what went on during his day in school or at home (e.g. something someone said, or something someone did, or simply something he encountered, etc.), I'll be able to provide him with the right perspectives or help him set things right.

This morning while driving to school, we drove past a construction site. Then he saw a few foreign workers walking towards the site and asked "Are they going to work? Why aren't they driving?"

Kids are so simple minded. Just because they get driven everywhere and they see mommy and daddy and the people they know drive to work, they automatically assume everyone has a car.

"Not everyone has a car, dear. Some people walk to work, some people take the bus, some people take the train"
"Why?"
"Because buying and maintaining a car is not cheap. You have to pay for the car and pay for petrol"

Then came my lessons about having to work hard, to be prudent, cannot waste, blah blah blah... Hopefully having these daily short chit chats is good enough to reinforce the right traits and values in H. Now I have to think about L. How do I find time to do the same with her?

teaching kids values

If I could, I would like to be the one spending most time with my kids. It baffles me sometimes what my kids say. I think it must be from the people they interact most with. In the case of L, that will be her nanny. Don't get me wrong, we love L's nanny to bits. She's extremely patient with the kids, and very soft spoken. The only thing I find with old aunties are they like to pass judgmental comments (e.g. saying someone is fat or something is ugly, etc.) and being superficial and judgmental is not what you want your kids to pick up.

Yesterday while having dinner with L, I asked her about school and her new friends. She was telling me about her new class and other random stuff and then she made this comment that made me sit up.

"Some girls are pretty and some girls are ugly"

Not knowing how to react, my first response was "all girls are pretty in their own way darling, there's no such thing as being ugly."

Then I added, "having a pretty face is not enough, you need to have a good heart. That will make you beautiful so everyone can be beautiful!"

I wasn't sure if she was paying attention to what I said because she started rattling on about other things. But I must find other opportunities to reinforce my message to her. Now how do I tell L's nanny to not pass judgmental comments about others in front of the kids? I don't want her to think that I'm accusing her of any wrongdoing. I just want to remind her that we should all be careful of what we say in front of the kids. So how?!!!