More about school choices

I've never considered myself someone indecisive, but when it comes to H's education, I've somehow become overly indecisive. Sometime I wonder if we should even discuss schooling options with others, cos I find that the more you discuss, the more confused you get.

I just received a notice from a waldorf-inspired preschool that they have an opening for H this coming May. Just when I have come to terms with his current school (despite some of its shortcomings, I think I've accepted the fact that there's no perfect school and that it's really not that bad), I'm now faced with another decisional point - let H continue in his current school, or take him out at the end of this semester.

Hubs is clearly more decisive than me. I guess it's also because he's not as involved in H's progress in school and the discussions I have with other parents. What he knows is mainly from what I told him, so clearly it can be a little extreme since my point of view, depending on what transpired prior to me pouring it out to him, is on either end of the scale. For example, I told Hubs I had issue with the lack of play in H's current school. Since the kids are only 5, over-emphasis on academics via classroom-based instructions will drain their enthusiasm for learning. Also, I felt that at this age, more focus should be given on the social emotional development aspects which is something H is lacking... blah blah blah... Hubs reaction was simple, "Yup agreed, we should take him out and put him in that play-based school you mentioned!"

There's really no right or wrong answer to what is best for the development of your 5-year old. I guess it really depends on the child as every child is different. H is somewhat anti-social. More than once I witnessed how he simply ignore his friends when they were striking up a conversation with him. I sometimes wonder how other kids can be so natural with socialising but my H just prefers to be on his own. For example, once I walked H to his classroom since we were early. When his friends saw him, they happily called out to him (one even started talking to him about something he did yesterday), but he just remained aloof and went about doing his own stuff. We've also been to a few birthday parties of his classmates. He would always want to go saying that he wanted to see his friends, but at the party, he would not join in the games, nor would he crowd around the birthday child (like most kids would do) when singing the birthday song and cutting the birthday cake.

Developing H's social emotional skill is hence very important to us. We've seen many bright young people who can't excel at work due to low EQ. For kids, the best way to learn how to socialise, manage conflicts, resolve problems, regulate own emotions is through interaction and playing with others. In his current school, there isn't much opportunity to do so. After much probing (you really need to ask very specific questions to get specific answers), I found out that H's school is overly rigid in enforcing 'discipline'. Yes, granted you can't have a noisy classroom during lesson time, but they should not be told to keep quiet all the time. Already there aren't play time incorporated in the daily schedule, so shouldn't kids be allowed to chit chat while queuing up to go to the canteen during break time, or in between lessons? How else will these 5-year olds (ok maybe most of them have no issue but H definitely has) learn how to interact with others?