Busy busy year end

I realised I've not been updating my blog. Here's a quick update on what we've been up to:

1. Managing renovations at 2 houses
Finally managed to nail down the contractors for the renovation of our 2 new houses - one for own stay and one for renting out. After weeks of going around hunting for supplies (tiles, paint, light fittings, etc.) we've finally settled everything (or at least I hope we have). Contractors have finally also started work this week, so fingers crossed, we'll be able to get our houses ready by mid-December.

2. Getting organised for our move
Still lots of packing to do. We're doing bit by bit every weekend. Last weekend I cleared up and given away all of L's old baby clothes so the doctor better be right that we're having a baby boy else we'll end up having to go shopping for new baby gal clothes!

Also realised that there may be a rat lurking around my packed boxes in the porch... yikes!!! We found rat droppings in the porch in the last 2 days, and scratch marks on the boxes. How to get rid of the darn rat the natural way? I mean I don't want to kill it, I just want it to leave. I read peppermint is a natural rat repellent but have yet to try it out. So now all new packed boxes are kept in the house, no more putting them outside.   

3. Keeping the kids busy
Feeling extremely guilty for not spending more time with the kids during the school hols. H is going camping with his grandparents and cousin this weekend. He's extremely excited. L wants to go too but I told her she can't since she's actually afraid of getting dirty. She wouldn't step on grass or mud, so how to go camping?!!! When I told her that while taking her for a walk by the poolside, she immediately walked on the grass and said "See, I'm stepping on the grass. Now can I go camping?". "No, you have to walk on the grass barefooted!". I think she's given up hope. Now she's excited that we're taking them to Legoland. She's been talking about it everyday since we told her we'll be going next weekend. So Hubs better make it happen otherwise she will be extremely disappointed!

They've also gone for a couple of field trips with my sis' school which I missed. I will also be missing the Jim West puppet show next week but at least the kids will have fun. The good news is I just got a call from Dumex to inform me that I won 2 tickets to the Hi-5 concert in December. Yippeee... I've never won any contest before so my luck must have changed. L will be thrilled since she loves Hi-5. And since she doesn't get to go camping, I'll be taking her to the concert :-)

Jolly phonics

L, at 3, is not showing much interest in the academic side. I mean, compared to H, he already mastered his phonics and could already spell simple words at 3. I hate to compare and it has not really bothered me since L is really a smart cookie. It's just that she's not interested in learning her A-B-Cs yet. Why am I bringing this up? Daddy made a comment last night about L still not knowing her letters and whether we should be concern. Well no I said, she's only 3. And to be fair, she does know her letters and sounds, it's just that she doesn't like to be asked or tested. Daddy thinks we should bring out the 'Ants on the Apple' book and start singing to her since she loves singing. I guess we haven't really been as diligent with L as we've been with H. We used to sing him 'Ants on the Apple' when he was a baby. Not sure if that was why he picked up phonics so quickly, but I reckon it's more to do with his interest which borderlines obsessiveness. When H is interested in something, he gets really obsessed about it.

Since L loves to sing, I guess one way to get her interested in learning the alphabet and phonics is to play her music. Instead of watching cartoons, perhaps it's worth letting her watch the jolly phonics videos instead. She's already doing jolly phonics in school, so better to be consistent :-)

This should satisfy daddy. I thought moms are supposed to be the kiasu ones. In our case, daddy seems to be more kiasu... hahaha.

Moving... where to?

We've finally gotten the keys to our new house a couple weeks back. The plan was to start engaging contractors, spruce up the place and move there by end of the year. So we thought, until the recent few days, when suddenly there is a change of heart. Should we move to our other house instead when the tenant moves out in December? Now to weigh the pros and cons...

1. House #1
Pros:  It's in the same familiar neighbourhood as our current house. Security is good, environment is good. Best of all, we'll be living directly opposite my mom's, which means easy help :-)

Cons: Insufficient rooms especially with new baby coming on board. Pretty extensive renovation needs to be done and it doesn't help that the contractor we've shortlisted isn't very responsive, which means we may not get the house ready by December. Location wise, it's further from work and the centre of activities.

2. House #2
Pros: Bigger house, sufficient rooms, move in condition so no renovation necessary (minor works can be done in stages after we move in). More central location - closer to work and kids' school and activities.

Cons: Area is still gated and guarded, but security may not be as tight (not sure!). The biggest con of all is that the kids will miss having po-po around all day since we will no longer be in the same neighbourhood.

It seems like we'll be settling for House #2, mainly due to not wanting to deal with the hassle of renovation and of course the timing issue. How the tide has changed from just a few weeks ago. We haven't told the kids yet. They were really excited about moving closer to Po-Po's house. Oh well...    

Silly rhymes

Last night, instead of the usual bedtime story routine, H wanted to play school. Playing school is good fun too, since he's not been to school for close to 3 weeks already. So the first lesson we had was English, and what better way to learn language than indulging in some silly rhymes.

H: Mummy you be the teacher, I'll be the student
Me: Ok, let's see. Today we'll learn about rhymes
H: Yay!!!

I really liked this game we made up. Not only do you learn to recognise words that rhyme, you also learn new vocab, learn how to spell and be creative in your writing. Best of all, it is a great bonding process as we couldn't stop laughing and giggling.

Here are some of the rhymes we wrote.  All you need is a magna doodle board to write on and lots of silliness...   (bold texts written by me, non-bold texts written by H)

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wish I had a car
How I wish I become a potato
so that I can be friends with a tomato

Incy wincy spider
drank a cup of cider
He went up a mountain
and fell into a fountain

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty dumpty fell onto a ball
... <can't remember what came after>

We did a couple more rhymes too but I just can't remember them (my memory is failing me). Should have taken a snapshot of all the rhymes we wrote. I'm sure L will have a good laugh too when read to her. It was a pity she was already asleep last night when we played the game.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival

Today's L's birthday and also the Mid-Autumn Festival. We won't be celebrating her birthday (again) but we'll be having some kids over for some lantern fun! These days, you really have to make an effort to bring the neighbourhood kids together. I remember how we used to roam freely around the neighbourhood and all play-dates and activities are self-initiated by the kids themselves.

Anyway, Happy Mid-Autumn / Lantern / Mooncake Festival to all. Here's a good YouTube video I found on the legend of Chang Er. Not sure how accurate the story is but I supposed it's good enough for kids :-)

Last Tweedlewink class for L

Next week will be L's last lesson at Tweedlewink. She loves going to Tweedlewink although daddy insisted that she's bored and has not been paying attention. "No need to go anymore lah, I can see she's bored already. Let her go to edudrama!"

I'm not sure if L is bored or daddy's bored... haha. I think it's more like daddy's bored since he's the one who's been assigned to take L to class every Sat morning. Oh well, nevermind. We'll find some other activities for L. She's been wanting to do ballet (not sure how she got the idea). Whenever I ask her what class would she like to go for, she'll immediately (without hesitation) say ballet. Daddy does not agree to L doing ballet - "what for" he says. He wants her to do edudrama just like what H did when he turned 3. The problem is the centre H went to does not now have any classes for 3 year olds. So how? What's wrong with ballet anyway? It's not like she'll be doing real ballet. For kids this young, it's more stories and play acting through simple dance steps so it's pretty similar to going to drama classes anyway.

I'm going to check out this ballet school I was recommended to later today irregardless... hehehe... L can go for a trial lesson and see if she really likes it. Maybe daddy can go along so he knows what baby ballet is all about.

school's out... what now?

I've officially withdrawn H from school after the fire incident in school. Yes, his school caught fire over the weekend. Luckily it happened at night and no one was hurt. Since the building is yet to be certified to be fit for operation by the fire department, the school has decided to move everyone to the Cheras campus. There's no way we're going to Cheras - too much of a logistical nightmare for us. So H is officially off school now. I hope we can get a refund on school fees for the remaining semester!

Now what am I going to do with H? He's been asking me about school.

H: Is there school tomorrow?
Me: Nope
H: Why?
Me: There was a fire in school and they have to fix the school first
H: Did it burn my classroom?
Me: Nope, not your classroom
H: Then I can go to school?
Me: Nope...
H: Why?

Yesterday after I've officially withdrawn H from school, I told him he won't be going to school for the rest of the year until he starts his new school next year. You would have thought that he would be happy to not have to go to school, but I think he was somewhat disappointed. He's actually grown to like school. Hopefully he likes his next school and the new friends he'd make just as much, if not more. But for now, I have to think of other activities to occupy him...

birthdays

Now that the kids are older, they are starting to understand what birthdays are. L's 3rd birthday is coming up soon and she knows exactly what she wants.

"I want a butterfly and garden and ballerina party with a pink and purple and red butterfly cake..."

Then when H said he wanted a funfair party for his 6th birthday next year (yes, he's already planning in advance), L said she also wanted a funfair party PLUS a Barney party.

Me: You can have that next year L
L: No, I want 3 parties - butterfly, barney and funfair!
Me: You can't have 3 parties, that is too many. You can only have 1
L: 3 is not many, 5 is many. I didn't say I want 5, I say I only want 3!

Gosh!!

Last night before going to bed...

H: I know what I'm going to get for mei mei's birthday
Me: Oh that's sweet dear, what are you going to get for mei mei?
H: A soldier set
Me: Are you sure? Mei mei is a girl, I don't think she likes soldier. Are you sure it's not for you?
H: Sometimes mei mei behaves like a boy what!!!

confinement lady contact list

I've finally managed to secure a confinement lady, whew, what a relief!!! She's recommended by my neighbour so hopefully she turns out to be as good as she's claimed to be.

For those still searching for CL, I've actually compiled a list based on recommendations from friends as well as fellow mummy bloggers / forum readers. Since I've not had any first hand experience with any of them, it's better you vet them yourself by calling and speaking to them directly, or arranging an interview.

List of recommended confinement ladies (in no particular order)

1. Aunty Sabrina            016-4681225
2. Aunty Foong              016-5155382
3. Aunty Ah Tai             017-9187383 (highly recommended by a few blogger moms)
4. Har Yie                      012-5221913
5. Mui Jie                       016-3945709 (supports breastfeeding)
6. Mei Lian                    017-6355077 / 016-5604842
7. Lian Jie                      016-5363251 / 016-6385219 / 019-9939483
8. Aunty Alice               016-6730103
9. Ah Peng  Cheh           016 9481739
10. Swee Kuan                 016-6269873 (supports breastfeeding)
11. Aunty Joanne             012-3541339
12. Aunty Kim                 017-2729885 (supports breastfeeding)
13. Ming Cheh                 010-766546
14. Aunty Siew                016-687005
15. Aunty Yuki                013-3574899
16. Aunty Agnes              016-4900565

Unfortunately I can't yet share with you the CL I booked in case she FFK or bail on me... hehehe...

Good luck!!

searching for a confinement lady

I've been procrastinating the search for a while until my mom called me the other day in the office asking if I was going to have a CL for our baby #3. My original intention is not to have one since the two previous CLs I had were only so-so. My idea was to get my current nanny to help double up as a CL and pay her more. However, it turns out that she has no experience with newborns. In fact, she's more kan cheong than I am and have been asking my mom about it.

I've since been scouring the internet to get reviews of good CLs. So if anyone has any good experience with their CL, do drop me an email. Your kind gesture will be much appreciated!

toddler talk

My little toddler L is growing up too fast. She's turning 3 in a month's time, how time flies! I really miss those baby talk, now she's like a little lawyer in the making, always twisting and turning her words...

1. I'm not running, I'm skipping
L was running near the fish tank and daddy was afraid she'll bump into it and hurt herself...

Daddy: L, no running near the aquarium. Remember what daddy said!
L: I'm not running daddy, I'm just skipping!

2. When I say x, it means y
During breakfast one morning L said she wanted milo milk (i.e. milo + milk) so I made her milo milk. After more than 10 minutes, she still hasn't touched it...

Me: L, why aren't you drinking your milo milk
L: I don't want milo milk, I want fresh milk
Me: But you told mummy you wanted milo milk when I asked you
L: Mummy, when I say milo milk I mean fresh milk, fresh milk means milo milk

3. I like cold I don't like warm
Whenever L asks for fresh milk, aunty will warm it up for her cos she doesn't want her to take it cold from the fridge

Nanny: There you go L, your fresh milk
L: It's warm, I don't like warm I want cold!

And she'll refuse to drink it. So after many failed attempts, aunty gave her cold milk one morning

Nanny: Here you go, your fresh milk
L: It's cold
Nanny: You like it cold right?
L: No, I don't like it cold, I want it warm

4. It's not me it's baby
Whenever L does something wrong and we reprimand her for it, she'll blame it on her baby (her make believe baby in the form of her pillow)

Me: L, stop spinning the chair
L: It wasn't me it's baby!

Me: L, didn't mummy say not to bite your tit-tit (bottle teat) anymore? I'm not going to buy new ones you know?!
L: It wasn't me
Me: If it wasn't you then who can it be?
L: It was baby!

Me: L, why are you making such a mess (throwing kor-kor's monopoly money all over the floor)
L: It wasn't me, baby did it!

how much does it cost to raise a kid

After scouting around for the right school for H, we've finally landed on a decision, and I must say we're pretty happy and confident with our decision. H will be off to another international school January next year, and will be starting Year 1.

We've never thought much about the cost of education but after paying the registration fee, we got a little jittery. It's fine if you only have one kid, still ok if you have 2, but now we'll be having baby number 3. So it was time to really do some serious budgeting.

Based on my estimates taking into account inflation, to put a kid through 12 years of international schooling and 4 years in a top university overseas (I used UK as a benchmark since I'm more familiar with the system), it will cost us a whopping RM1.6 million. And this is just for the first kid!!! Lest you think we're wasting good money for early education, i.e. the primary and secondary years, the bulk of the costs is actually for tertiary education (>75%).

It's high time to put our investments to work. And I guess there also goes my early retirement plan!

book smart vs. street smart

H is as straight as a fiddle. He does not lie (not that lying is a good thing) but having a little craftiness is important when you face the real cruel world. Can street smartness be taught, or is it something of an in-born trait? L is the total opposite. She speaks with confidence and conviction, even if it's not true.

A while back I devised this incentive system for the kids. One of the chores they have to do to earn stars is to put away their toys after playing. Every night before going to bed, I'll ask the kids if they did what they were supposed to and rewarded them with stars.

Me: Did you put away your toys after you play?

The response I get will be totally different. For H, unless he's absolutely certain he did, he will always hesitate. "I'm not sure, ask kakak"

For L, she's always certain. "Sure I did. Look around you, it's so clean!" Of course we all know it's not true, cos by the time I get home, kakak would have already cleaned up the place for the night. Kakak, on hearing L will shout out "No you didn't!", to which L will rebuke, "Yes I did! You cannot say I didn't." That's my bossy little girl in action.

I also have this rule that the kids are not allowed to play with the i-pad on weekdays. One day as soon as I got home, H came running to me apologising, "I'm sorry mommy!" I was shocked and asked him what was the matter and he said "I played with the i-pad at po-po's house." That is really taking honesty to a different level - i.e. self confession!

Me: Did you play with the i-pad too, mei mei?
L: Nope!
H: Yes she did...

Honesty and integrity are great values that should be encouraged. I need to teach L about honesty, while instilling some street smartness into H. The former should be easy, but I have no clue whatsoever on how to tackle the latter.

the birds and the bees

How do you explain to your 5-year old where babies come from? Ever since we told H he's going to have a little baby, he's been ecstatic. It is so different from the time when we told him he was going to have a little sister (i.e. L), he wasn't too bothered and was rather disinterested. Along with his enthusiasm comes the dreaded questions. How does the baby come out? How did you put it in your stomach? Etc. etc.

The first question was easy cos for both H and L, I had a C-section. No need to explain about the natural birthing process, I just told him the doctor cut open my stomach and take the baby out. On hind sight, it must have been a little gruesome for him to grasp, imagine the doctor cutting open mummy's stomach. Urggghhh!!!

H: "Then how do you put it back?"
Me: "Put what back?"
H: "Your stomach?"
Me: "The doctor will use a needle and thread to sew it back, just like how you sew clothes"
H: "Is it painful?"
Me: "Yah just a little, but just for a while. It's like when you have a scratch and it hurts but it will heal and it won't hurt anymore"

Then H went silent. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. Maybe I should have just made it simple by saying mummy will go to the hospital and the doctor will take the baby out.

We then went for dinner and on the way, he suddenly asked.

H: "How did it get in there?"
Me: "What get in where?"
H: "The baby"

That sure is a tough question. I wasn't sure how to answer, being caught off guard. And remembering to keep it simple this time, I just blurted, "mummy planted it there". H found this funny, but he's also too smart to take me seriously. "What?!!! How can you plant a baby?"

Luckily he didn't try to probe further, whew!!! I'm sure the question will pop up again. This time I better have a good answer. So how do you explain to a pre-schooler where babies come from? Hmmmm... I need to get a book!

Social development milestones

It wasn't too long ago that we were worried about H's social skills. He seemed to like playing on his own and never spoke much about his friends from school. Of late, he seemed to have blossomed socially. He voluntarily tells us about what he did in school, about his friends, etc. He even has best friends now whom he speaks about. I guess we were just overly paranoid. Children's social interactions develop in stages, and I found this article by Joan Almon extremely enlightening.

I quote from her article The Vital Role of Play in Early Childhood Education:

"The way children engage in social play with others changes over the years. The one year old tends to play alone, while social play of two year-olds is generally called parallel play for young children play side by side without fully interacting with each other. I would characterize the play of three and four year olds as playmate play. The children enjoy playing with each other (with occasional squabbles as part of the play experience), but generally they are not deeply invested in each other. They enjoy playing together when they are in nursery school, but tend to forget about each other when they are apart. An exception to this, in my experience, occurs among children whose families are friends or who carpool together. In such situations, life thrusts the children together outside the usual play times, and playmates become more like family members who play an important, abiding role in a child’s life. Normally, however, children of this age happily play with their playmates in school and forget about them for the rest of the day.

 

The social play of five and six year olds is different. The doors to deeper social relationships are opening for them. They form friendships and talk about their friends at home. They think about their friends when they are apart. They may want to call them on the phone or visit in their homes."

 

H is turning 5 so I guess he's starting to display the social characteristics of a 5 year old. It's rather sad that we have to pull him out of school at the end of this semester now that he has formed firm friendship in school. He actually wanted to stay in his current school but that's another story altogether.

 

 

Our new aquarium

Over the weekend, hubs took the kids to the pet shop to get them fishes as pets. I think daddy was more excited than the kids. While he was busy looking through the different aquariums, pumps, etc, the kids only wanted to use the net to scoop up the fish. What is more fun then netting the fish right, who cares about what aquarium we're buying.

We finally got all the required accessories home and got the aquarium all set up. H was pretty proud of the aquarium as he helped decorated it. Now it was time to get the fishes (we didn't get them from the same shop). We got 6 guppies, 4 swordtail fish and a mudsucker (the kids named it Lulee). Apparently these are hardy fishes but they don't come cheap. I thought guppies are longkang fish no? They cost RM5 each, I kid you not, what a rip off!

After putting all the fishes into the aquarium, daddy started giving rules to the kids. Alamak, so many rules!  

#1: Cannot put your hands into the fish tank or the fish will die
#2: Cannot put dirty things into the fish tank or the fish will die
#3: Cannot give the fish too much food or ... etc etc.

But the kids were so excited they nodded anyway and repeated the rules to daddy.

The next morning though, kakak found all the 4 swordtail fish on the floor dead. They must have jumped out of the tank, and 1 guppy dead in the tank. So much for them being hardy, and there goes RM25. I guess we'll have to go to the pet shop again this weekend to get more fish ;-)

This is what Hubs found out from his research before we bought our aquarium:

1. The bigger the aquarium the easier it is to keep the fishes alive as more water means less drastic change in water temperature
2. For beginners, you should choose hardy fishes like guppies or swordtail fish. Also, not all fishes can be put together in the same tank, so better check with the pet shop staff
3. There's a minimum space requirement for the fish (depending on their size) so although our tank can hold 10 gallons of water, the maximum number of guppies we can have is about 16-20

chatterbox L

My baby girl is certainly not a baby when it comes to talking. She can easily out talk a 4 year old, and has no problem holding conversations with adults. These days, she's even full of excuses...

1. Accusing her brother
Aunty Ann was telling us to keep the tissue box out of L's reach as she's fond up pulling tissues out of the box. L overheard Aunty and said, "Yah, better put it high up on the shelf else kor-kor will play with the tissue!"

2. Feigning ignorance
I told L numerous times not to bite her bottle teat else she'll have to use the cup. Teats are expensive and I'm not about to replace them every time she bites a hole in them. While drinking from her milk bottle she suddenly cried out, "Someone bit a hole on my tit-tit!"
Me: I wonder who did!
L: It wasn't me, someone did!

3. Faking urgency
Poppy was taking a nap and L wanted Poppy to get up and play. After several failed attempts to wake Poppy, she shouted, "I need to go shee-shee!". Poppy jumped up immediately to take her to the toilet. L: I know how to wake Poppy up now!"

More about school choices

I've never considered myself someone indecisive, but when it comes to H's education, I've somehow become overly indecisive. Sometime I wonder if we should even discuss schooling options with others, cos I find that the more you discuss, the more confused you get.

I just received a notice from a waldorf-inspired preschool that they have an opening for H this coming May. Just when I have come to terms with his current school (despite some of its shortcomings, I think I've accepted the fact that there's no perfect school and that it's really not that bad), I'm now faced with another decisional point - let H continue in his current school, or take him out at the end of this semester.

Hubs is clearly more decisive than me. I guess it's also because he's not as involved in H's progress in school and the discussions I have with other parents. What he knows is mainly from what I told him, so clearly it can be a little extreme since my point of view, depending on what transpired prior to me pouring it out to him, is on either end of the scale. For example, I told Hubs I had issue with the lack of play in H's current school. Since the kids are only 5, over-emphasis on academics via classroom-based instructions will drain their enthusiasm for learning. Also, I felt that at this age, more focus should be given on the social emotional development aspects which is something H is lacking... blah blah blah... Hubs reaction was simple, "Yup agreed, we should take him out and put him in that play-based school you mentioned!"

There's really no right or wrong answer to what is best for the development of your 5-year old. I guess it really depends on the child as every child is different. H is somewhat anti-social. More than once I witnessed how he simply ignore his friends when they were striking up a conversation with him. I sometimes wonder how other kids can be so natural with socialising but my H just prefers to be on his own. For example, once I walked H to his classroom since we were early. When his friends saw him, they happily called out to him (one even started talking to him about something he did yesterday), but he just remained aloof and went about doing his own stuff. We've also been to a few birthday parties of his classmates. He would always want to go saying that he wanted to see his friends, but at the party, he would not join in the games, nor would he crowd around the birthday child (like most kids would do) when singing the birthday song and cutting the birthday cake.

Developing H's social emotional skill is hence very important to us. We've seen many bright young people who can't excel at work due to low EQ. For kids, the best way to learn how to socialise, manage conflicts, resolve problems, regulate own emotions is through interaction and playing with others. In his current school, there isn't much opportunity to do so. After much probing (you really need to ask very specific questions to get specific answers), I found out that H's school is overly rigid in enforcing 'discipline'. Yes, granted you can't have a noisy classroom during lesson time, but they should not be told to keep quiet all the time. Already there aren't play time incorporated in the daily schedule, so shouldn't kids be allowed to chit chat while queuing up to go to the canteen during break time, or in between lessons? How else will these 5-year olds (ok maybe most of them have no issue but H definitely has) learn how to interact with others?

don't be a hermit crab

Grandma Poppy wanted to follow us out last Saturday but as usual Grandpa Kongky wanted to stay home. On the way out, I told the kids Poppy may not come with us cos Kongky doesn't like to go out, he likes to stay at home...

H: Why?
L:  Maybe Kongky is an old man. <I'm not sure why she associates old man with wanting to stay at home... hahaha>
H: Maybe he's a hermit crab!

We dropped by Poppy's house on the way out...

H told Kongky: Don't be a hermit crab Kongky!

And just in case Kongky didn't understand him...

H: A hermit crab is someone who doesn't like to go out and likes to stay at home.

Kids!!! And so, both Poppy and Kongky went out with us :-)

Tennis is the best first sport

H's first encounter with tennis was when we took him to a trial lesson at Monster Tennis. He was still very clingy then and refused to participate although I could sense that he longed to play those games they did. But he simply refused to get onto the court. Oh well, we never went back since I did not want to waste my money if he wasn't going to participate.

Fast forward to now, H is enjoying his tennis lessons. Why tennis? I read that tennis is a great first sport for kids. It helps develop the greatest number of skills required for the greatest number of other sports and activities (see chart below). So hopefully with a good grounding in these skills, he'll grow to love and enjoy an array of sporting activities!



A little description on how tennis develops the above skills:

1. Throwing. The service and overhead motion in tennis is identical to baseball and football
2. Catching. The soft-hand skills required for volleying, as well as dropshots, lobs, and other touch shots in tennis are terrific catching skill-builders for other sports
3. Striking. Anyone who has played tennis knows how much easier tennis makes learning all other racquet sports. Studies have proven significant carry-overs from one racquet sport to others, as well as to other striking activities like baseball and hockey
4. Running & Striking. This very specific skill is one of the most challenging features of tennis, and one of the most valuable skill-builders a developing athlete can master
5. Movement Rhythm. Sports educators are now broadly beginning to emphasize the importance of rhythm in sports, although dance teachers have long expounded its benefits. Because tennis is a continuous rhythm activity, it offers many timing and rhythm benefits not available from many other sports
6. 3-Step Movement Pattern. Almost all baseline movement can be covered in three steps
7. Aerobic. Although tennis is accepted as more anaerobic than aerobic, the aerobic benefits of playing tennis are very high as compared to other sports such as baseball or golf
8. Anaerobic. Competitive and moderate tennis scored near the top of the list when comparing calories burned by different activities over a 3-hour period. This makes tennis a wonderful first sport to build both stamina and strength in children
9. Team-building. Most junior tennis classes are organised in a group learning environment, encouraging a team atmosphere within an individual sport

Kids Tennis

H has been attending tennis lessons for a while now. Initially we got him a coach for one-to-one lessons at our clubhouse. Although he seemed to enjoy his tennis lessons, we found it a little monotonous. For 1/2 hour each lesson, the coach just fed him balls to hit. Not much of coaching there I'd say, and the lessons weren't cheap.

Earlier this year, we (my sis and I) saw this Groupon deal for 8 tennis lessons by Gee Tennis Academy and jumped on it. So far, H and my niece C have been attending the lessons under coach Gee and they are having fun! The lessons are more interactive, and since it's a group lesson, the kids will also get to make new friends (hopefully).

I must say coach Gee is pretty good with kids. I mean, if H is happy to go for lessons it means the coach is doing something right cos he's not easy to please. The only qualm I have is the timing of the public group sessions. For H's age group, weekday sessions are at 6pm which won't work for us cos it's dinner time plus we'll be stuck in traffic trying to get home after the lesson, but location wise it's better (TTDI Community Complex).  Weekend sessions are held in Subang (3K Sports Complex) which is not an ideal location for us. The morning sessions at 9am can also be very very hot as the court is on the roof top - so the kids don't just get tired from the workout, but from the intense heat.

We'd really like for H to continue his lessons with coach Gee after our Groupon sessions end next month. I wonder if I can get enough kids to form a private group at our clubhouse. That way, we can pick a convenient time and also don't have to travel :-)

Best Legoland family deal

The school holidays are approaching and I'm so tempted to take the kids to Legoland in Johor. Not sure about Hubs, but I should be able to take some time off next week. Hopefully he can too so we don't have to go on weekends (read CROWD!). I miss my little girl so much, have not seen her in 3 days due to my busy work schedule. By the time I got home these past 3 days, she was already in bed. Couldn't catch her in the mornings too since I left home before she was up. Anyway, I'm digressing.

Back to Legoland. Tickets bought online (7 days in advance) will cost us RM312 (after 20% discount) for 2 adults and 1 child. L enters free since she's under 3 years old. Yippee!

But... with some clever manipulation of the ongoing promotions out there, the best deal for a family of 2 adults and 2 kids like ours is only RM231. A savings of RM81. Double YIPPEE!

This is how.

1. Buy a box of Kelloggs cereal - the voucher allows you to get a free child ticket with the purchase of an adult ticket at full price (RM140). So RM140 will take care of the tickets for Daddy and H.
2. Buy a pack of Mamee Monster - the voucher gives you 35% off a normal priced adult / child / senior citizen ticket. So RM91will get momster me an adult ticket.
3. L enters for free anyway, so total moolah to fork out = RM231

Time to go grab those Coco Pops and Mamee!

Reward chart

Fellow parents will understand when I say how hard it is to get your kids to listen to you sometimes or rather most of the time. After my failed attempt to teach H how to save by having him earn his pocket money from performing chores, I came up with a reward chart. The initial idea was to list down simple chores he needs to do (including good behaviorial traits) and he will get rewarded with a star on a daily basis for compliance. The stars can then be exchanged for pocket money at the end of the week. But Hubs disagreed - we shouldn't pay him for good behaviour or routine chores. So I've given up on the pocket money front, he will still be getting stars, each star will give him 5 minutes on the iPad :-)

The thing with kids, they are so easily bribed. Now they make it a point to remember to put away their toys, not to whine and throw tantrum, etc. just to earn stars. Best thing is, the simple joy of getting rewarded with stars is good enough, e.g. for L, she doesn't even expect to get anything out of the stars. To her simple mind, getting a star is a reward on its own.

H's reward chart

Using a pocket wall chart is a great idea so that you don't have to keep printing the chart, plus you can change the chores/behaviourial traits as and when you need to. Every night, I'll go down the list and ask H if he complied, if so, I'll insert a star into the pocket. Easy-peasy!

H's exam results

H got back all his exam papers today. He did extremely well. No wonder his English and Science teacher asked if we revised with him cos he got 97.5% for English (due to a careless mistake) and 100% for Science. Now she must think we are super kiasu parents... hahaha!

He also did really well in his Bahasa Malaysia paper which is rather a surprise. He got 95% for the paper. This time we can't blame careless mistakes for the 5% - I think he really couldn't remember some of the BM words and spelling. Oh well, 95% is amazing considering he didn't study for it.

I'm a happy mom cos I know now (with certainty) that I can be totally hands-free with H on the academic side. Yeah!

Now we need to work on his social and emotional side. Sigh...

math exam results

H got back his math exam paper. He got 84%, not bad for someone who didn't revise. I looked through the paper - he would have gotten 90% if not for careless mistakes. It's funny how he made careless mistakes on the simplest of questions, but for the more tricky ones, he got them all right. The other 10% I don't think he would have gotten since I'm quite certain he doesn't know how to spell words like hexagon, twelve, etc.

Parenting best practice is to praise effort and give encouragement! So here goes...

Praise effort
Mommy saw your maths paper, you got 42/50, that's really good.
I like that you try to spell the words even though you don't know how to...

Give encouragement
Mommy knows you can count the objects, you just didn't count carefully. Next time you count slowly or count it twice like this...
See now the teacher wrote down the spelling for you, next time you will know how to spell the words :-)

Great job H, gimme 5!!

****

H was beaming with pride. The paper wasn't that difficult. I'm sure if drilled, most kids would have been able to score 100%.

Po-Po said that when she went to pick H up from school last Friday, H's English and Science teacher asked if we revise much with H at home. Po-Po said not really. Oops, that can only mean 2 things - he either aced his exams, or flunk really badly. We shall find out soon...

my noisy kids

Whenever we take the kids out, we never fail to attract stares from the public. Our little rascals are the nosiest kids ever. They are just so happy and carefree that they don't give a hoot where they are. Everywhere's like a playground to them.

Last Saturday, I took the kids to Waterfront @ Desa Parkcity to grab lunch. It's the closest place to home that's hassle free to park. We went to Rakuzen. I didn't know H is so crazy over sushi. As soon as we sat down he told me what he wanted (although he already had lunch at home). Of course L followed suit but I didn't bother ordering her any since I knew she wouldn't eat them.

So while waiting for the food to arrive, my kids started to make music. They were oblivious to the fact that they were in a restaurant full of diners trying to enjoy their meals. They happily stood on the bench and danced and sang to the beat of their chopsticks, on top of their voice! Some of the diners were amused and some not. What can I do? It's not like they'd listen to me if I told them to stop so I just let them be. At least they were happy and having fun!

 

But that thought came a little too soon cos when the sushi arrived, the kids started fighting. L wanted to take a piece but H wouldn't let her, "They're mine! I ordered 2!" But L wouldn't take no for a no (as usual) so she put her hand onto H's plate and grabbed a piece. Sigh, now everyone's looking cos H was shouting and L was crying. Everyone must think I'm such a stingy mommy for not ordering more, or a bias mommy for not ordering for the girl.

Please someone remind me not to take the kids out to restaurants next time...

Bugging nightmares

H has been having nightmares recently. He would wake up in the middle of the night shouting for mommy. In all his nightmares, there's one recurring theme - bugs! First it was spiders, then ants, then bees, and last night cockroaches. Usually it's about him being attacked my the insects (I think). I try not to ask questions so as not to disrupt his sleep. Normally I'd just reassure him that there's no bugs in his room and that mommy is here.

Normally dreams or nightmares occur when your subconscious mind is trying to make sense of your emotions or the things that are happening in your life, whether you know it or not. I'm beginning to wonder what is actually bothering him for him to be getting these nightmares.  A quick googling revealed that dreaming about insects often indicates that something is annoying or pestering him/her. It further revealed that if a person dreams that he/she is completely surrounded or overwhelmed by insects, he/she is probably so annoyed by something or someone that he/she is ready to freak out. Oops, this sounds like the subject of H's dream. Should I be concern?

Here are interpretations of the said insects from H's dreams (from my google research):

1. Ants: It could mean that the person is feeling "ansty", or ressless. Ants also can symbolise the small annoyances and irritations in our daily lives.
2. Bees: Bees are usually a good omen, they symbolise wealth, good luck, harmony, creativity and bliss. However, if you get stung by one, it may indicate that you have been wronged. Maybe you have been hurt by some stinging remark.
3. Spiders: To see a spider in your dream indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power or an overbearing mother figure in your life. However, if to see a spider spinning a web in your dream signifies that you will be rewarded for your hard work.
4. Cockroaches: Dreaming of cockroaches generally means there is a part of your life you feel you need to confront and possibly change. It can represent a need for renewal or self-cleaning of your emotional or spiritual being.

Apparently dreaming of bugs is one the top 10 nightmares among children. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be reassuring, i.e. everything's normal and there's nothing to worry about. According to Dr. Gillian Holloway in her article "Your Child's Top 10 Nightmares and Dreams Explained", children are prone to dreaming about insects in their bed or a swarm of bugs coming into their room at night (sounds very much like H to me). I quote from her article:

"What you need to know:
This is a dream that may recur a few times with varying degrees of agitation. It is a common dream for youngsters to experience when they are facing unpredictable situations, such as a separation in the marriage, moving into a new home or a new sibling being brought home. There is no single catalyst or interpretation for the attacking insects; rather, the frightening dream seems to reflect a sense of bewilderment and being overwhelmed. Arguments, unexpected changes and feeling as if she has no control over events may trigger repetitions of the dream. If your child has this dream, do what you can to give her some sense of control, or at least a voice in her own fate. Point out stability where it still exists, and help things to be as smooth and predictable as possible. And do what you can to manage your own anxiety, for she may pick it up and feel unsettled even though you aren't saying much about the situation."

Has this all to do with H trying to adjust to the big school?

My Art Studio

Since H is no longer going for his edudrama class, I thought it would be good for him to try out art lessons. When I told Hubs about this, his reaction was, "we need to be smart about choosing the programmes for our kids cos weekends are precious, and art isn't a priority!" Why not? I totally disagree. Art is not just about sketching and colouring, it's more than that but most people just don't see the value in it. Anyway, I was quite adamant about H taking on art. I asked H if he wanted to go for a trial lesson and he said yes. He was actually quite excited about going to the art class (perhaps it's more to do with being with his cousin who's also attending the same art class).

I must say I'm really happy with My Art Studio. For the first time, H was actually keen to participate. I had no problem getting him into the class, he went in on his own. I also had no problem leaving him there on his own (I can't be sitting there waiting for him for 2 hours). Perhaps it's really cos his cousin is there, but they aren't in the same class so it's not like they get to interact during the lesson. But what I'm really happy about is that the teachers are really engaging. You can tell that they really adore kids, which is perhaps why H took to the teachers quite readily.

One point to note about choosing the right art school is to look at the children's work. In some schools, kids are taught how to draw and colour (almost prescriptive) so the work produced by the kids are almost identical. For me that's a big no no! The reason for sending H to an art school is to nurture his creativity and confidence in expressing himself.

Last week, the kids were told stories about Duan Wu Jie (Dragon Boat or Dumpling Festival) and were shown actual images of the different elements related to the festival (e.g. dumplings, dragon boat race, etc.). They were then asked to create their own masterpiece based on their interpretation of the festival. When I went to pick H up, I was pretty impressed with the masterpieces created by the kids. They were all so different, and so creative. H drew daddy and him among dumplings hanging from the top. The girl sitting next to him drew a colourful dragon. The drawings are all 'kid like' and that's what I like cos you know they are really their original masterpiece.

* Disclaimer: I speak only from my experience with one particular My Art Studio outlet

Social and emotional development in kids

Sometimes I wonder if parents are the ones thinking or worrying too much. Here I am, barely 3 months since H entered the big school, and I'm already considering taking him out. It's not that H's school is not good, I just don't think that it suits him now (maybe if he was older I'd think differently). So anyway, I went to check out this Waldorf-inspired preschool yesterday. I know I mentioned before that while I like Waldorf's play-based philosophy (kids are free to play, imagine and create), I've never considered a Waldorf school for H since I don't quite agree that kids are not exposed to anything academic. I don't want to sound kiasu, but some kids are more than ready to learn academic subjects (in a fun way of course)! Anyway, my reason for going against my original stance is that I think H would benefit from an environment in which his social and emotional skills get developed. He doesn't really need more academic inputs. Perhaps being in an environment in which he gets to just play and interact with kids would be more beneficial for him.

Before I visited the school, I was already quite convinced that the Waldorf-inspired school is the way to go for H. But the school visit was somewhat disappointing. The teacher who showed me around didn't really understand nor address my concerns. I'm not sure if it's the language barrier. The school's supposed to be English based, but I felt this particular teacher's command of English isn't quite up to mark (perhaps the reason why she couldn't respond to my queries). So I'm torn - it has a good reputation for happy children and caring teachers. Should I ditch my lousy experience from this visit and register H anyway? I don't really want to keep changing schools, so I have to make sure that the next school H goes to is the one for him. Besides, the fees aren't cheap. I remember telling my Waldorf-trained sis (the one's who's been encouraging me to put H into the Waldorf school) once "Why need to pay so much for H to go play in school? He can just play at home!" I still think what I said is true since we don't restrict H's playtime at home. In fact, he plays all day at home. And he doesn't need toys, he's got fantastic imagination.

Last night I asked H if he had fun in school and he said yes. I then asked if he's starting to like his big school, he said no! Kids are really funny, you really have to ask the right question cos I would have assumed fun = like, but apparently not! He told me again that his current school is just learn learn learn and no play. I told him that he can learn in school and play at home, but he disagreed, "I also want to play in school!"

Well I guess H needs more than just play, he needs to have friends to play with. And this is extremely important as only through play and interaction with others would kids develop the ability to understand their own emotions, read and comprehend emotional states in others, manage strong emotions and their expression in a constructive manner, regulate one’s own behavior, develop empathy for others, and establish and maintain relationships. These are all what you can't teach in an academic setting.

I found another school today which claims to nurture well rounded kids, balancing both intellectual and emotional development in a fun manner. Sounds really promising. Will have to check it out.

Private swimming lesson

I'm so glad we found a really good coach for H. Today's his first swimming lesson outside school and he really enjoyed the session, no tears, just laughter! He even managed to put his head into the water and held his breath for 10 seconds. I wish I was there to witness the session. Po-Po was just full of praise for the coach. Not only did he manage to get H into the pool and learn the basics (blow bubbles and float like a star), he made H laughed and giggled :-)

When I got home, I told H that mommy's really proud of him cos he managed to put aside his fear and went into the pool. H told me, "I'm scared at first but after that I'm happy!" I think he must have felt a sense of accomplishment too. He then showed me how he put his head into the water and blow bubbles. "The coach is also very funny. He makes silly jokes!"

Now I just can't wait for H to start swimming independently :-)

Bedtime routine

I really have to rethink the kids' bedtime routine. They're both reluctant to go to bed and it's a struggle every night. It takes at least an hour to finally get them settled in bed, and that doesn't mean they fall asleep immediately. No wonder H can't wake up in the morning (my poor boy has to wake up at 6:30am), and I swear he's getting eye bags from the lack of sleep (he won't nap in the afternoon).

Here's how it goes every night.

8pm: Mommy me will yell "OK enough, stop playing everyone goes upstairs!" which will be met with defiance "No, I still want to play!" I will then turn off the lights in the living room and start marching upstairs, "Mommy is going up, you can stay and play if you want but I'm going up!" That usually gets their attention. On a good day, they'll race each other up the stairs. On a bad day, one or both of them will start whining or throw a fit!

8.15pm-8.30pm: Depending on luck, I finally get them both upstairs, but getting them changed and brushing their teeth is another battle. Their favourite game is to chase each other along the corridor and from room to room, while I try to keep my patience checked. "Stop running dear, come here and brush your teeth..." I'll be repeating this over and over until my patience runs out then I'll resort to threatening him "That's it, I'm gonna ask kakak to come get you ready" or physically dragging him into the room. Since I can only handle one kid at a time (cos it's running late and H needs to go to bed), the nanny usually takes the other (L by default) which on most nights result in her throwing a fit "I don't want you, I want mommy!"

8:30pm: Gosh, already so late! "It's late already, time to sleep." which will be met by "I want a story first". "OK just one story then you have to sleep, promise?" But after one story, it'll be "I want another story!" or "I want to drink milo", or "I want to chit chat", etc.

9pm-9.30pm: Again depending on luck, the kids are finally settled.

So really, if I want H to sleep by 8:30pm (so that he gets 10 hours of sleep), I'll have to shoo them upstairs by 7:30pm latest. Sometimes I'm not even home by 7:30pm. How lah?!!!

Dilemma

4 Reasons To Ditch Academic Preschools | Janet Lansbury

I like the above post. It captures exactly my thoughts. H is one of those preschoolers who has a knack for letters and numbers, and has, through his own interest and initiative 'thought' himself to read, spell and do math. He's coping well academically in his current school (which is overly academic) but I just feel that what he needs is not more academic learning but nurturing his self-esteem and confidence, learning how to socialise and self-regulate, etc.

Last night, I asked H if he likes his school. He gave me an affirmative no. When probed further this was his exact answer, "We only learn learn learn and don't play, so boring!". I can really feel for him. Classes run from 8am-2pm with 2 short breaks in between. That's a really long day for a kid if all they do is academic learning, with no play time in between. "I like SA (his previous preschool), we get to play and learn, not just learn learn learn!"

If H was older, I would probably tell him that well, life is not a bed of roses so deal with it. Maybe not in such words but you get my drift. Kids should not be over-protected nor overly-pampered. But H is only 4.5 years old. I'm not sure if the lack of sleep, or the overly academic school is taking a toll on his emotional wellbeing. My sis and mom seemed to have noticed that H's temper is getting from bad to worse. He seemed to have had it under control for a while but ever since he started schooling (in his new school), he's more short fused. Simple things get him agitated and he will burst out in anger. My sis has been nagging me about my decision to send H to such an academic school whereby kids are pushed to learn so much so young, about introducing unnecessary stress to him, etc. I always just brushed her off, "Where got stress? It's not like he's struggling, he is actually coping well!"

I don't agree to push a child beyond their developmental readiness, but I also don't agree to delay a child's learning. For H, he's a fast and keen learner so he's definitely ready to learn everything that's taught in school with ease. But now taking a step back to reconsider, I guess there's really no need to introduce more academic subjects into H's life. Instead we should focus on his weaknesses. But pulling him out of school after the first semester means forfeiting the hefty deposit we paid. The only way to get back the full refund is to put in a notice of withdrawal before June and only leave at the end of the year. Hub's ok either way, "Money you can earn, but you can't buy back childhood". Sometimes he does have spurts of wisdom, hahaha.

So what should I do? Put aside all these nagging feelings and stay the course (praying that all will trun out well in the end), or do something (which may not necesarily turn out to be right)?

Have I made the wrong school choice?

H's classmate celebrated her birthday yesterday and it was a great opportunity for the mommies to get together while the kids played. H's school is one of very few private schools with no PTA so parents don't get a chance to 'gang up' and voice our concerns.  Our topic of conversation was of course around kids and education. Everyone was asking about the March exams and wanted to know how the other mommies are approaching it. I told them frankly that I'm just going to let H sit for the exams. If he does well, good, if not, I'm not too bothered either. C'mon, the kids are only 4-5 years old. There must be better things for them to do at home (like play) than to study for exams.

The more I get to know about the school (from other parents and from my own observations), the more I have this nagging feeling that we have made the wrong choice. I can't help wishing that we had stuck to our original idea, i.e. to give H a year out. I feel so kesian that he has to wake up so early in the morning and that I have to rush him to bed every night (I know he wants to spend more time with mommy, I do too but there's no choice else he won't get sufficient sleep). I'm also beginning to wonder if he'll lose interest in learning. Too much academic work too early will definitely kill the joy of learning. Learning should be associated with fun rather than homework and exams! H used to proactively ask for worksheets (he thinks it's cool to be like the big kor kor /cheh cheh with homework to do) but these days he finds homework more a chore than something he enjoys doing for fun.

Anyway, I digressed. Back to school choices. We're almost quite certain now, after having experienced private (international) schooling that perhaps it's really just a hype. Are private schools really better? Is the international syllabus really better? Not necessarily. It all boils down to the quality of teachers and the school management (who determines the philosophy of teaching / learning the school adopts).  Unfortunately this is something difficult to assess unless you experience it first hand as some schools are just really good at marketing. So not all private schools are good, and certainly not all public schools are bad. One of the mommies I spoke to at the party admitted that she actually regretted putting her daughter (who's in Year 2) in the international stream. As with all choices, there are the pros and cons. Thankfully H is only 4+ years old so we still have time to decide whether to continue with the international stream or put him in the SJK(C) stream. Meantime, we have to decide if we should let him continue with Reception, take him out of school, or put him in a play-based kindy.

Do parents these days think too much?

March Exams

H's school first quarter (March) exam syllabus for Reception. Looks pretty intimidating, but I have full confidence in H. He seems to have a good grasp of all that is taught in school since he doesn't need guidance when doing his homework (I take that as he knows the subjects well). He only needs reminding to finish his homework and not dilly dally. So exams or not, I'm not going to succumb my little boy into studying. He's just too young to be spending time studying for exams.

Bahasa Malaysia. Not sure how strong his BM is but hopefully his good memory serves him well

Math. H claims it's easy peasy...

English. Shouldn't be a problem since he speaks English at home

English Spelling. Good thing is H has a strong grasp in phonics so spelling is easy for him

Science. Seems like a lot of topics but what is covered in each topic is actually quite basic

Exam time-table

Don't you agree this is too much for a 4.5-year old? I still think kids this young should not be tested!

Primary school online registration

Just completed the online registration for H's entry into a chinese primary school, easy peasy... in case you can't find the link on the MOE webpage (took me some time to look for the link), this is it http://apps.moe.gov.my/esppsel/

Now I'll have to go bug our tenant for the latest utility bills so that I can complete the registration process. I wonder if I should take H to the school when I hand in the documents. He did ask if he was going to the same big school as C cheh cheh (his cousin) when he's a big boy :-)

Kindergartener and exams

I've never really thought much about kids' exams. What do kids get tested on anyway, especially kindergarten kids? I just feel it's so wrong for kids this young to be tested. They probably don't even know the concept of exams or have the stamina to sit through the exam papers (how many 4-5 year olds can concentrate for 1.5 hours on a single paper?!!!). I know in H's school calendar, it has been clearly marked out that 12-14 March are exam days for Reception kids. Yeah yeah exams, no big deal, until I saw in the Parents' Handbook last night that I realise this school takes the whole exam business really seriously.

3 days of exams, 4 subjects will be tested (BM + Ejaan, English + Spelling, Math and Science). There's even a list of topics / areas in which they will be tested on for each subject, and the list is long (I kid you not)!

Should I revise with H to prepare him for the exam, or should I just let him be? I really don't think kindergarteners should be given exams. The teachers should be able to assess how much they've learnt by observing their class work, no? Research shows that formal academic testing in young kids is inconclusive anyway since most kids this age can't even read instructions, nor have the attention span. I know H probably doesn't, given how he likes to dilly dally when doing his homework, but it doesn't mean that he does not know his work. So to me, exams are counter-productive and introduce unnecessary stress on kids. I dread having to tell H that he will be having exams and that he has to finish the exam papers and finish them fast. I can just foresee him asking me tonnes of questions like What is exam? Why must have exam? Why must finish? Why must do fast? Why this why that...

As far as I remember, I've never studied for exams throughout my primary school years, nor do I remember my mom ever revising with us. So I think I shall just let H be. He'll just need to learn from this coming exams - if he does well hopefully it'll motivate him; if he does badly hopefully he'll learn to buck up. What I wish to instil in my little big boy is for him to be an independent learner. That way mommy can relax knowing that he can take full responsibility for his own learning. *A long way to go I know, but I should really start by teaching him to take responsibility for his own homework*

Registration process for public primary school

For first time parents wanting to register their child in a public primary school, this is what you need to do (for those wanting to register in a Selangor school):

1. Go to the Jabatan Negeri Selangor website and click on Pendaftaran Murid Tahun 1. Registration starts 1 March 2013 (for kids born in the year 2008 and 2009). You can only register your kids 2 years before the start of their academic session, i.e. this year's registration is for kids entering school in 2014 or 2015.
2. Print out the completed online form
3. Go to your school of choice within 14 days of online registration to hand in the printed form and supporting documents.

Documents required:

• Child's birth certificate (original and copy)
• Copy of eletricity and water bills (Jan 2013)
• Copy of parents' Marriage Certificate
• Copy of parents' Identify Cards
• RM1 processing fee

Registration is open from 1 March 2013 to 30 April 2013.

Hope this helps. We'll be registering H in a public chinese primary school since we've not really decided if we'd keep him in his current international school.

Farm in the City

I've been wanting to take the kids to the Farm in the City ever since I heard rave reviews about it from other mummies. Although I'm not a big fan of animals, it would be good for the kids to get close to nature and be comfortable around furry and feathery beings (don't be like mommy... hehehe). Kids these days are such city kids, they are afraid of anything 'dirty' - my kids certainly are and from my conversations with friends and colleagues, so are their kids. E.g. H used to be afraid to step on sand and grass, he's ok now but L is still icky about stepping on grass barefooted. When it comes to getting close to animals, no need to say lah, all the more they're afraid.

Last weekend, Hubs organised a day trip to the Farm with a few of his friends from work, all with kids around H & L's age. We convoyed at one of his friend's place in TTDI before heading off to Seri Kembangan. We had no clue how to get there, but with Waze (this is an amazing app), we managed to find our way there without getting lost :-)

I can't remember how much is the entrance fee, I think there's a family package (2 adults 2 kids) for RM99. Kids under 90cm in height enter for free! The entrance fee includes all the animal feeds, so you don't have to fork out anything else, except for the pony ride which costs RM5 per ride I think.

The first section as soon as we entered the Farm is the tortoise and turtle area. There's a giant galapagos tortoise for you to pet and feed. We were quite surprised that H actually went up and fed the tortoise. L on the other hand just clung on to me and refused to get down. She's such a 'big talker'. Before we went to the Farm, she's the one all excited and said she wanted to feed the animals, etc. But as soon as we got to the farm she became all timid although not admitting it, "I'm not scared..." and she told her little friends, "Don't need to be scared, it won't bite!"

There are other species of turtles too and the kids were fascinated. We then walked through the reptile area (there were huge snakes and H got a little scared) and the bird aviary. Here H really freaked out cos the birds were everywhere. One even came and perched on L's stroller. He started crying and wanted to get out NOW! The kids were also scared of the goat (who's overly friendly) and the deers, so we had to also exit the area quickly.

After that we went to the fruit and vegetable farm. The plants and trees aren't really grown yet so you don't really see any fruits and vegetables, except for the banana tree and winter melon creeper which were bearing fruits. But the kids got to see scarecrows and a well. There's also a cow for feeding but none of the kids wanted to feed the cow.

One thing great about the Farm is that they have sinks everywhere for you to wash your hands. We took a break at the cafe (it's really not much of a cafe but good enough) for drinks and ice-cream. The cafe is just next to the petting zoo and longkang fishing area. There are lots of cute little bunnies and guinea pigs. L only wanted to stay outside the fenced area to fish. I think this is where the kids had most fun, all trying to net the fish but nobody was successful. The fishes were just too fast. Even daddy, with 4 nets in his hands, couldn't net any. Hubs asked if H wanted to feed the bunnies, and surprisingly he said yes. He happily fed the cuddlies and we praised him for being brave. He even showed off to L, "see mei-mei no need to be scared, look at kor-kor, you just hold the vege like this!"

We then went to the lake to feed the swans and fishes. This is the only place L wanted to participate. After emptying 2 containers of feed, she wanted to stay on but we were told there was an animal show starting in 5 minutes so off we went. There's a butterfly area which we didn't go in. We also went through the exotic animal area rather quickly (they had giant rabbits, praire dogs, marmosets, iguanas, etc. *don't know and can't remember the names of some of the animals...hehehe).

We didn't go on the pony ride. After the show, we headed off to find lunch. All in all is was a great day out. The kids had fun (L's been asking to go again and said she'll feed the animals the next time we go). We should really do more day trips like this on weekends, it's much better than staying at home or going to the malls. Now where shall we go this coming weekend? Hmmm....

H's colouring nightmare

I must have underestimated how much H dislike colouring. I know he's not a big fan of colouring but his procrastination when it comes to finishing off his homework that requires colouring is driving me mad!

I'm not sure when this all started. He's never been unwilling to colour, in fact when in a good mood, he will try to colour in nicely. But recently, I realised that he's just unwilling to pick up those colour pencils. Over the weekend while I was supervising him with his homework, he did eveything quickly but left out sections requiring colouring.

"Can you please finish off your homework? Just a little more, you only need to colour the boxes."

No reply and went off to play with his sister!

"Come back H! You can play later, just this little bit more..."

H came back, and sat there playing with his colour pencils instead (pretending they were stick men fighting).

Me getting impatient, "You better finish it now cos I'm not going to remind you again. You can go to school and explain to the teacher why you didn't finish!"

Reluctantly he started colouring, but instead of just filling the boxes with one colour, he had to draw stripes. Sigh, I was really losing patience. And he was doing it really slowly as well, getting distracted all the time. I just couldn't sit there any longer and walked away before I snapped.



When I came back after 1/2 hour, H still wasn't done. Instead he proudly showed me what he did, "See mommy!". H drew the ants and bees game (ipad game) on paper, complete with different levels some more! *slaps forehead*



"Very nice dear, but why haven't you finished your homework? No need to do in colourful stripes lah, just use one single colour so that you can do it faster!"

"In school you don't waste time like that ok else your teacher will say you're slow in colouring!"



Opps, blurted out too fast!

"My teacher didn't say I am slow in colouring. She said I was lousy in colouring."

I wonder if that's the reason he's rejecting colouring. It's terrible how teachers make such comments even if it's unintentional cos you never know how those words can affect a kid's subconscious mind.

"Well it's ok to be lousy, not everyone's good at everything, but with practice you can be good too..."

H finally sat down to finish off his homework. He coloured the rest of the boxes with one single colour and finished in no time. See it's not that hard. I'm not sure why he just refused to do it.

What's with homework and colouring

I'm not sure if it's the norm with schools these days, but H seems to be getting more and more homework. Not that he's complaining, but mommy is since I have to make sure he finishes his homework. H actually likes doing homework. He can be quite fast when he's in the mood, but he's also easily distracted and can take ages if it's something he's not interested in, e.g. colouring.

This week's homework

I simply can't understand the rationale for making the kids do so much colouring. Every subject, whether it's English, Math, Mandarin, etc, seems to require the kids to colour. Shouldn't colouring be reserved for Art classes? It'll make completing the homework so much faster if the kids don't have to colour in the pictures.

H really doesn't take much pride his work. The first few pictures he'll try to colour within the lines using different colours, then it becomes single colour still somewhat within the lines, then towards the end of the page it's just messy scribbles of colour.

I'm actually not too bothered about his colouring skills but I guess I have to teach him about taking pride in his work.

Quality time with L

L has recently become more clingy and whiny. I blame it on me not spending enough quality time with her. I noticed that on days when I spend one-on-one time with her, showering her with attention, etc., she's more well behaved and will not 'reject' her nanny. Otherwise she will cling to me like a koala bear as soon as I get home, and will scream and cry whenever she wants something.

These days Hubs sends H to school in the morning so I must make it a point to stay home till about 8.45am before she heads off to nursery to head off to work. That way, we can snuggle up and read, or play games. I remember I used to spend more time playing with H, e.g. doing puzzles, painting, etc. but I've not done the same for L. Not because I don't want to, but there's just not enough time since bedtime is now earlier (8pm on school days).

Yesterday morning L took out this spatial logic puzzle to play with. We actually have lots of puzzles and games stashed away and forgotten. I should really do some reorganising and take them out for L now that she's ready for them.

This morning I didn't have time to spend with L cos I had to send H to school. But tomorrow, we shall have our mother-daughter bonding time again by explore another puzzle/game together :-)

chores and pocket money

Ever since H got his new wallet, he's been bugging me every evening (when I come home from work) for a 'job' so that he gets paid. My little H is quite a money face (must have gotten the genes from  Hubs). Here are come of the conversations that have transpired since he came to possession of his wallet.

On the first night
After I told H I will think of something for him to do, he told Daddy, "Mummy will give me a job tomorrow and you can pay me RM8-RM9 for it." Wah since when do kids get paid RM9 for a chore. I'm not sure how he arrived at that figure but he surely won't be paid more than RM1.

The second day
H: Mommy what is this for? <showing me the card compartment in his wallet>
Me: That's for you to put your cards
H: I don't have a card. Can you give me a credit card?

Wah, credit card? Hell no!!

H's first chore
It's really not easy to think of a chore since kakak does almost everything and we don't want him to get the wrong impression that he'd get paid for doing routine things, things that he's meant to do anyway. And after much bugging (and to make sure he's doesn't lose interest), I asked him to help me clean up my wadrobe. He wasn't much of a help to be honest but I paid him RM1 at the end of it. On hind sight, I should have only given him 50 cents. Now he must think that chores are such easy peasy way to make money.

Yesterday
H: Can you give me a job again?
Me: You don't get chores everyday.
H: But I want.... <started whining>
Me: Chores cannot be too easy for you to earn money <oopss said it too fast too soon>
H: But I want easy, I don't want difficult. You must have different types. RM1 for easy, RM3 for medium, RM5 for difficult.

Wah, can bargain summore!

Me: Nope. RM1 is maximum. If it's easy you only get 50 cents.

Then he asked me for another card since there are more than one card compartment. After digging through my cardholder, I could only find one 'useless' card (a loyalty card we got from the biscuit company when we bought our CNY cookies).

Me: There you go, you can have this cute little biscuit shop card.
H: To buy biscuits?
Me: Yes.
H: You mean if we buy biscuit and we don't have enough money to pay we give the card?

Alamak!!! He thinks it's a cookie credit card... hahahaha!

Me: Nope, you can't pay using the card but you can get a discount!

I'm starting to think that this whole chores and pocket money idea is not such a good idea after all. Perhaps I need to change my strategy to make it easier else I'm gonna be bombarded with endless request for chores every evening (and overpaying for simple stuff which defeats the purpose of teaching him that earning money is hard work).

fierce teachers

H is such a sensitive little boy. Last night after putting him in bed he said he wanted to chit chat. I must make it a point to have chats with H. There isn't enough time to do so cos most days by the time I get home, I probably only have about an hour with the kids before I have to get them ready for bed. That one hour would be spent playing, reading, etc. It was good that I had a gathering with my old schoolmates last Friday who reminded me that young kids like H also need an emotional outlet cos we'd never know what is happening in school unless we talk to them about it. Normally I'd just say, "No more talking, go to sleep!", but last night I was happy I had a chat with H.

Me: So how was your first day back in school?
H: Very good... <he was smiling but I sensed some hesitation>

Then he said he didn't want to go to the school anymore cos the teachers scolded. I had to probe and question to find out exactly what happened. Sometimes it's hard to understand H cos he has difficulty articulating what he wants to say. Long story short, there are a few teachers who according to him are fierce and like to scare children. I asked if they scolded him he said no, but they scolded his friends. After much probing, I found out H's definition of scolding isn't really scolding. For example, the teacher will tell his friend who's day dreaming "You're day dreaming, E!". To him, since the teacher said it in a loud voice, that is scolding. I asked if the teachers punished, he said no. I asked if the teachers scolded if they ask questions or don't know how to do something, he said no. Whew!! So I guess H is just being overly sensitive. I then told him it's ok, the teachers aren't really scolding, they just wanted the children to pay attention and learn.

Then H told me his class teachers said he is lousy at colouring. I was initially aghast. How can the teachers pass derogatory remarks like that? Surely that will affect the child's self-esteem. I was thinking to myself that if that's true I'll need to have a word with the teachers. But before I started probing, H corrected himself, "no they didn't say lousy they said I was slow at colouring". I asked if the teacher told him that, he said no, he overheard the teachers saying that.

When I told Hubs about what H told me about his teachers, he said, "Good, that will toughen him up." I believe it's important for parents to not overprotect their kids and allow them to learn how to deal with tough situations, but we have to also take care of their emotional wellbeing (especially for a sensitive child like H). So it's really a fine balance and it's not always easy to know where to draw the line.   

chores for preschoolers

While we were shopping for H's school bag over the weekend, Daddy thought it'd be a good idea to start teaching H how to save by getting him a wallet. He of course choose an Angry Bird wallet to go with his trolley bag.

H was really excited about having a wallet. I think it makes him feel like a big boy. He asked for money to put in his wallet but Daddy said not to give him any, he has to earn it.

H: Mommy can I have some money for my wallet?
Me: Nope, you have to earn it.
H: Why?
Me: Well money don't grow on trees or fall from the sky. Mommy needs to go to work to earn money, so you need to work for your money too. I'll think of something you can help out then you'll get a dollar.

But what can a 4-year old do? It can't be something so routine (and something he's expected to do anyway like making his bed) else he'll want to be paid everytime he does it. And since I couldn't think of anything, he had no chore and no money for his wallet.

The next morning when we were going out, H wanted to bring his wallet. Daddy said no, wallet stays at home since there's no money inside.

H told Daddy: Mommy's gonna give me a job and I'll get a dollar!

Opps... I better think of a chore for him soon else his enthusiasm will soon run out.