H's whininess is driving me nuts

H has been behaving really well for the longest time and I thought he's finally graduated into being a big boy until recently. I'm not sure why, but for the past few weeks he's suddenly become all whiny again and it's driving me nuts! My patience has run out and last night, I just couldn't help it and gave him a hard long lecture while getting him ready for bed. And since I wasn't in my nicest mode, I must have been a little rough with him (I was yanking his T-shirt over his head and as the collar opening was a little small it got stuck). Suddenly he burst out crying "mommy you hurt me".  I'm sure it didn't really hurt, he was just taken aback over me scolding him. Without thinking (which I regretted immediately) I snapped back at him, "mommy can't be nice if you keep making mommy upset".  I then had to recollect myself, apologised to him and continued giving him the lecture in a nice and gentle manner.

Being a mom is a real test of patience. I have to remind myself to always keep calm which is not always easy to do. How else can you teach your kids to speak nicely if all they ever hear is you yelling at them? How can you build positive self-esteem in your kids if all they ever hear is you telling them they aren't good enough? I try to be as mindful as I can when choosnig the words I use with my kids but sometimes it's easier said than done.

What should you do with your gifted kids? Errr... nothing!

We were coming out of JG after dropping H off for his weekly EduDrama class when we bumped into another mom. She stopped us and asked if we were H's parents, then started asking about what enrichment programmes H is registered in. I don't know how or why, but somehow she has the impression that H is somewhat advanced for his age and wanted to know if we did or are doing anything special with him both at home and outside home.

We acknowledge that H is smart but we've never thought of him as being gifted. He's very inquisitive, likes to learn and learns very fast. But is that really being gifted? Kids are like sponges, no? They absorb just about anything and everything they're exposed to. Anyway, this mom of H's classmate is concern that she's not doing enough to groom her son's talent. He's 4, just like H, but is already doing multiplication (he's extremely good in maths). The mom is already sending him to all sorts of enrichment programmes - mental maths, reading, etc. So the question posed to us was "what else can we do? how do you make sure that gifted kids like ours don't lose their talent?"

I guess this is typical of most Asian parents. We want the best for our kids and will do everything within our means to give them a leg-up in life. Sometimes parents get so engrossed with enriching their kids with knowledge that they forget that there are other more important aspects to life. Is it really necessary for kids to be ahead in reading and maths? These are skills that can be picked up rather quickly once the kids are developmentally ready (some earlier, some later but they all get there eventually). If the kids are interested and want to learn more, sure, don't stop them, but never push them beyond their capacity just because you think they can or they should. The worst thing a parent can do is to take the fun away from learning. Focus should always be on the process of learning, not outcome. At the end of the day, we want our kids to enjoy learning, know how to acquire knowledge and how to apply the knowledge acquired. We also want them to be critical thinkers, to be confident and be able to articulate their thoughts and ideas. Otherwise, what's the point of having all these knowledge and ideas? These are soft skills that are important and much much harder to teach than academic subjects like language and maths.

Again I digress. So what should you do with your gifted kids? Well... nothing special. The fact that they're already academically more advanced than their peers means that you must be already doing something right. Just follow their cue - they will let you know when they're ready for more. For example, just the other day H asked me what is divide (in math) while playing with blocks. I'm not sure where that came from so I explained to him the concept of divide by using his blocks. That's what I mean by following their cue. I don't send him for special math classes, nor do I tutor him at home. What I do is I teach him math concepts whenever he asks and that's how he picks up math at home. And the same goes with other subject areas like reading, general knowledge, etc. What I do want to know, however, is how do you teach those other soft skills I mentioned like confidence, EQ, etc?

kids say the darnest things (take 3)

On the way to po-po's house, the kiddie CD was playing in my car
L: I don't want this, I want Gangnam Style

L got a balloon in her party pack
Me: Do you want me to blow the balloon for you?
L: Yes
Me: Big or small?
L: <Thought for a while> Small
Me: Small? Not Big?
L: Small won't burst, big will burst

After showering and changing L into her PJs
Me: Now you smell nice...
L: Later you ask daddy if mei mei is pretty ok?

I was lying next to L and hugging her jum-jum (bolster).
L: <Snatching it back> It's mine
Me: <Pretending to be sad> Then mommy doesn't have a jum-jum
L: Maybe kor-kor can share with you
Me: Kor-kor share you won't share?
L: My jum-jum is smelly

School Holiday Activities: Outdoor Pursuit

I 'stole' the October issue of goingplaces on my flight back from Penang. It's the perfect family issue featuring back-to-nature organic farm visits around Malaysia and picnic spots around the Klang Valley. Just perfect for the upcoming year end school holidays. I always believe that kids should spend more time outdoors rather than at home in front of the TV or iPad. Very unhealthy! Here's the list of places featured so that you can plan out your kids' holiday activities too :-)

Home on the Grange

1. Kahang Organic Rice Eco Farm (Koref). Located in the small town of Kahang in Johor, it is the only organic rice farm in Malaysia and houses a small resort. Activities include helping to plant rice seedlings or harvest the crop (depending on season), bamboo rod fishing, swimming in the creek, bamboo rafting, camping, feeding the cows, etc.
2. Titi Eco Farm Resort. Located in Negeri Sembilan, it is a commercial organic farm, also produces organic food products such as enzyme drinks, sesame sprout powder and fruit jams in an on-site factory. Activities include bread making, foot fumigation bath, educational tour to learn about healing herbs, ostrich and rabbit farms, etc.
3. Permaculture Perak. Located in Lenggong Valley in Perak, it is a set up by a husband and wife team to lead a self-sustaining life - farming, planting, breeding and rearing everything they need. Activities include helping out around the farm like watering and fertilising the plants and trees, feeding the animals and relaxing in the pool in the creek.  

 Let's Picnic

1. Forest Research Institute Malaysia (FRIM). Located near the township of Kepong, FRIM oversees Malaysia's largest secondary forest. Activities include nature trails, bike rides, canopy walk and camping. There's a picnic area near Sungai Kroh with a few shelters and restrooms, as well as a hidden waterfall a short walk into the jungle across the main road.
2. KLCC Park. Needless to say it's located in KLCC. There's a children's playground and paddling pool free to all.
3. Kanching Recreational Forest. About 30 to 45-minute drive from KL (head towards Rawang), the park is on your right 1km after Templer Country Club. There are cascading waterfalls with clear pools and bouldered streams at the second and third levels (most popular spots). Picnic gazebos, changing rooms and toilets are available. Weekends can be very crowded.
4. Taman Botani Perdana (or more commonly known as Lake Gardens). Well manicured lawns and beautiful gardens. There's also a children's playground and boats for rowing on the man-made lake. Gazebos and picnic tables are available.    
5. Sungai Sendat Waterfall. 30-minute drive from Batu Caves (follow the raod to Ulu Yam). There's a three tier waterfall cascading among the lush greenery of the Sungai Sendat Recreational Forest. Can have strong undercurrents so swimming should only be done at the bottom level. Toilets and changing areas available.
6. Commonwealth Forest Park. Located in the vicinity of the Kanching Recreational Forest. There is a small stream surrounded by big, shady tropical trees. If you prefer nice landscaped gardens, go further uphill to a secluded valley where the original Commonwealth grounds are found. Activities include horse riding, mountain biking and jungle trekking.
7. Sungai Pisang. Located on the 12th mile, Jalan Gombak. This is for the more adventurous as you need to hike for an hour along a jungle trail to reach the waterfall.

We've personally not checked out any of the above places so cannot really give comments. For a start, we will definitely make day trips to the not so challenging places, i.e. FRIM, KLCC Park and Lake Gardens,  this coming school holidays :-)

Homeschooling my preschooler

I get 3 different reactions whenever I tell people I'm taking H out of preschool next year.

1. The concerned and the "are you sure" look. I guess I can't blame them cos I still have a pinch of uncertainty about this decision of ours. What if he misses out? What if he can't catch up? What if he ends up sitting in front of the TV all day? What if... ? 
2. "Wow you're homeschooling him". I wish I can say that but I'm a full time working mommy so I can't really be homeschooling him. When I get asked that, my answer would be "well not really cos I'm working" and then I'll get the first reaction, i.e. "are you sure?"
3. Extremely supportive and thinks it's a great idea. There's probably only one person in this category, who is none other than my dear sister, who's a strong proponent of play (which I totally agree) and thinks that children shouldn't be taught reading and writing until the age of 7 (which I don't quite agree) :-)  Ok there are perhaps 1-2 more who don't really count, i.e. my young colleagues who are fresh out of school with remarks such as "wow this is really cool, I wished my mom did that"

Homeschooling is quite a general term. I guess when we think of homeschools (at least I do), we think of structured lessons done at home instead of in school. Perhaps with your very own timetable for the various lessons, etc. and the curriculum of your choice. Sounds like a lot of work and commitment to me. But homeschooling in a "looser" sense is what we're already doing with our kids at home on a daily basis since birth. That was how they've learnt and is still learning, and all done through play and interactions with the people around them. I read this concept about teaching moments and I can totally relate. You can teach kids so much without actually seem to be teaching them. Here are some teaching moments with H which I like to cite as examples:

• Sports, countries and flags. It's amazing how watching the Olympics can turn out to be such a great learning opportunity. H got interested in the different sports being played and wanted to know about the rules of the games (here's a teaching moments - talking about different sports and their rules). He also wanted to know about the flags (another teaching moments - we talked about the countries and flags). And for a few weeks following the Olympics, he would invent his own games. He would be representing one country and would make me represent another. And he would draw out the flags with the initials of the countries under them on his doodleboard to be used as the scoreboard. All self initiated. During the course of play he will ask "Mommy how do you spell Russia" or "Mommy how do you draw China's flag", etc. These are all teaching moments. To H, he's simply indulging in play, but he's actually learning so much from his simple play.
• Words and spelling. H used to be crazy over the Wordworld programme on Disney Junior. After watching each episode, he'd recap the story to me enthusiastically and ask me questions relating to the story (a teaching moment). We'd then play word building games just like in the programme, sometimes he'd invent his own games, sometimes I'd suggest the games to play. For example we'd play "Dog's Letter Pit", "Frog's Rhyming Machine", etc. Again for H it's all  play but he's unknowingly also learnt how to spell.

I can cite many more examples but long story short, kids are naturally inquisitive. By latching on to their natural curiosity we can teach them so much, and they don't usually take much time nor require any special teaching materials. Most of the time, these teaching moments happen between dinner time and bedtime for me (since that's the only time I have with the kids on weekdays) and weekends of course. And you'll be surprised by how much teaching / learning you can do in such a short time.

So I guess the next time people ask me if I'll be homeschooling H, I should say YES I am!

Smart Mandarin Kids

Since I was on leave yesterday I took H for a trial class at Smart Mandarin Kids. As usual, he was reluctant to go when I told him we were going to try out a new class. After much persuasion he agreed (I told him I will be going into class with him). I must say I was quite proud of H. He actually participated after he warmed up. I was expecting him to be all clingy as he usually is when he's in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people.

The class is of mixed aged (4-6 year olds), most if not all of the children are from english speaking homes so the kids all spoke to each other in english. Perhaps this is the reason why H was not too intimidated. In the car, he asked if the teachers spoke english. I told him "well it's a mandarin class so the teachers will speak in mandarin", and he was concerned that he won't understand them. The class was however not conducted entirely in mandarin. Although the teachers spoke mainly in mandarin, they always translate what they said into english for the kids to understand. Not sure if this is good or bad.

We were half and hour late so we missed the start of the lesson which apparently consists of circle time. When we arrived it was snack time. H was invited to sit together and eat with the other children.  He wanted to sit in a separate table with me, so fine. After finishing his biscuits, he wanted more. So I told him he has to go to the front and ask the teacher for more and he did that. He even said xie xie to the teacher.

After snack time it was flashcard time. I won't really call it flashcard time cos the teacher didn't flash the cards. She basically showed them the words on the cards and the children shouted out the words. Next she showed them picture cards and the children shouted out what was on the cards. H got interested as he knows some of the words on the cards but as usual he just whispered the answers while the other children enthusiastically shouted out so the teacher couldn't really hear him. He then got disinterested and started running around.

Next it was play time. The kids were ushered into the playroom for free play. H went into the room for a bit but didn't really want to join the other children. He ended up running around by himself (the main classroom is an open area with a 'bus' and slide).

Then it was writing time. H likes doing worksheets so he quickly came and joined the children at the table. I guess I don't have to worry about him and homework when he goes to school next time cos his concentration is really good. While some other kids were talking and running off, he just sat there and did his work. Since he was the first to finish (and really quickly too), the teacher gave him his book (well it's more a compilation of worksheets stapled together) so that he can work on another worksheet. And H almost completed the book too.

It was then time to sing the good bye song. H didn't want to sing. He just couldn't wait to get out... hahaha... I asked him if he enjoyed the class and whether he wanted to come again he said no. I guess that's expected. Then I told him I was proud of him for participating and he was happy and proud that I was proud of him :-)

So, what do I think of Smart Mandarin Kids? I think it's not bad. The teacher told me they usually also have one-to-one time with the older kids to guide them with reading and writing. I'll probably check out a few other places and let H decide. My only qualm is the timing, since they only have afternoon sessions for H's age group. This will pose logistical issues for Po-Po who will be sending him cos I can't really expect Po-Po to travel to and fro our place both mornings and afternoons to chauffer the kids around.

Our new nanny's arrived

I took a day off yesterday to pick up our new nanny and to get her settled in with the kids. So far so good, the kids are not 'rejecting' her. In fact, they're quite happy to engage her in small talks and play. Whew!!! However, they're still reluctant for her to feed, bathe or put them to bed. I guess it takes time. So today's another day for them to get used to having her around. Tomorrow Aunty Ann will have to take on her full role as a nanny since I'll be away for 2 whole days on a work assignment in Penang. What bad timing! Hopefully everything will be smooth running while I'm away *fingers crossed*

kids say the darnest things (take 2)

Showing L the little black dress she got for her birthday
Me: Do you want to wear this pretty dress?
L: No, it's black black. So scary <L is now in her pink phase now so everything has to be pink>

I've always suspected L thinks that the word together means 2 persons together cos when she says the word it sounds like two-gather. On the way to po-po's house...
L: Mommy and me go two-gether to po-po's house. Later we take H and come back three-gather

During bedtime
H: Why does daddy always come back so late?
Me: Because he has to work
H: So that we can buy toys?

thank you and bye bye aunty

Today's our nanny's last night with us before she leaves tomorrow morning. Despite her shortcomings, which are small compared to the support she's rendered us over the past one year, we're really grateful to have her. As a small token of appreciation, I got her a Coach wristlet and a thank you card. The kids were happy to write the card and give her the present. I forgot to take a picture of what H wrote, but this was what he wrote and he wrote it all by himself (the message also came from himself):

I Love uoy Sophia popo
H and L

H has a tendency to somtimes write in mirror image. Perhaps this is due to him being a left hander when he was younger, so he gets confused sometimes.

Anyway, the kids are certainly going to miss their nanny. Let's hope they will like the next nanny just as much. Thank god Sophia promised to come back if things dont' work out with the next nanny. She's promised to stand in until we finally find someone right :-)

THANK YOU AUNTY SOPHIA!

H the Little Paranoid

H is a little kia-see (direct translation from hokkien = scared to die). He gets paranoid over the slightest things. Definitely didn't take after me :-)

Case 1: The Deadly Aedes
H was asking me one morning early this week about why mosquitoes bite. So while explaining to him about the difference between male and female mosquitoes, etc, I thought it'd be a good idea to show him some photos of mosquitoes. So me and my big mouth, I pointed to one of the pictures and said "oh if you see this mosquito with black and white stripes you better stay away cos this is an aedes mosquito. it will make you sick if it bites you."

H: Will you die?
Me: No you won't die. You just need to go to the hospital
H: I saw lots of aedes mosquitoes in <school's> playground *with a very concerned look on his face*
Me: Next time you tell your teachers ok. Ask her to put mosquito repellent for the children

That night...
H: Mommy is there any mosquito in my room?
Me: No
H: How do you know? I'm scared if there's aedes in the room
Me: I've an idea, I'll apply some mosquito repellent on you ok. Then the mozzie won't come near you
H: The mozzie doesn't like repellent?
Me: Yup

And every night since, H insists that I apply mosquito repellent on him (and he never forgets, not even one night).

Case 2: Zombie Eyes
Me: It's late already dear. Quick go to sleep. Mommy's also tired and I wanna sleep already otherwise I'll get zombie eyes
H: What's zombie eyes?
Me: It means your eyes will bulge out and become red and you have dark circles under your eyes *I made a scary face which I immediately regretted*
H: Will I get zombie eyes? *looking very concerned*
Me: Nope if you sleep now you won't
H: No zombie eyes? *still looking concerned*
Me: Nope

The next morning...
H: Mommy do I have zombie eyes?

Case 3: Bleed to Death
H gets extremely hyper when it approaches bedtime and he'll run from room to room including into the bathrooms. To stop him from endangering himself (cos there're glass screens in the shower area), I told him the article I read in the newspaper about how a little boy ran into a glass door, shattered it, got a big cut on a major artery and bled to death. *Another mistake on my part for telling him something so gruesome*

The other day I got a cut on my big toe by accidently kicking the bottom of the aluminium toilet door. It was just a small cut but blood was gushing out non stop. H was flabbergasted.

H: Are you gonna die mommy?
Me: No, I just need tissue, can you get me some tissue and a plaster please?
H: The blood will all come out then you will have no more blood and you will die

I wonder who H takes after... *ahem ahem*... hehehe :p

kids say the darnest things

My kids never cease to make me laugh with some of the things they say. They're just so cute and sometimes I wonder where they learn how to say some of those things they say.

Nanny trying to wake L up on a rainy morning, and L refusing to wake up
L: The bird is not singing yet
Nanny: It's raining so the bird won't come out
L: The dog is not barking yet

L playing with my access cards in the car on the way to po-po's house
L: Where's the other card <she dropped it behind her>
Me: Oh don't lose mommy's cards <while feeling around her seat>. There it is, please hold it properly
L: What's the card doing in mei mei's pi gu (buttocks)? Silly card...

I have this problem with H as the weekly library book he gets from school keeps going missing. I swear the book goes into his bag every monday morning, but somehow it's always not in the dedicated box for book returns
Me: Do you know where you have to return the library book?
H: In the communication box. The communication book and library book go into the box
Me: Ok, you have to remember to put both books into the box then. <Gesturing with my hands> In goes the communication book and then in goes the library book
H: It's not my fault if kakak doesn't put the book in my bag
That's not true cos I know kakak always puts his book in his bag. Reminder to self: must teach him about taking responsibility

To make H go to bed early, I came up with a rule for bedtime stories
Me: This is mommy's new rule. If you get ready by 8pm, you get 3 books; 8:30pm 2 books; 9pm 1 book; 9:30pm no book
H: Daddy won't get any books cos he always comes back so late

H is always reluctant to participate in class so sometimes I have to tell him that mommy's paid and it's expensive so he has to participate. On the way to school one day...
H: Did you pay for my school?
Me: Yes, so that you can learn.
H: Do adults have to go to school?
Me: No, only little children go to school, adults go to work
H: Do you have to pay to go to work?

Activities for preschoolers

Hubs and I have decided to take H out of preschool next year. We haven't actually told the school yet, but I think we're pretty much convinced that this will do H good. There's nothing wrong with H's current preschool but we feel that since H is already quite advanced academically (we don't want him to learn the same stuff over and over again), he should spend more time just PLAYING!

This must sound so wrong... hehehe. To be honest, a part of me (my kiasu bit) was initially quite hesitant about the idea of taking him out of school. I mean, although H already knows most of the stuff that are taught in school, he must be still learning something new. Besides, the whole idea of sending him to school is to teach him how to socialise and gain independence. But I have since come to terms with the decision. Although H will not be going to school next year, there are 3 things that we must find other ways for him to achieve:

1. Making friends and socialising
2. Building confidence  
3. Learning Mandarin 

So I guess I have until end of the year to find activities and enrichment programmes for H next year. He can spend 1-2 hours a day in organised activities, and the rest of his day indulging in free play.

Here are some of the potential activities on top of my head:

1. Sports - H went for his first tennis trial lesson last Saturday and he loved it. Maybe we can include other sports activities like learning how to swim, taekwando, etc.
2. Mandarin class - maybe 2-3 times a week. I'm still uncertain if I should put him back in Bao Bei or let him try something different. At 5 years old next year, should the focus be on character recognition/reading or speaking/listening?
3. EduDrama - we will continue his weekly edudrama class. He seems to like it a lot although the teacher says he wouldn't participate during drama time.
4. Fastrackids - I haven't really checked it out but I like what I read about the programme. They cover a wide range of topics such as biology, technology, natural science, astronomy, earth science, economics, etc. This will be fantastic for H since he is very inquisitive and have shown keen interest in knowing about the world and how things work. For example, during the Olympics season, he was so obsessed with the games that he chose to watch the Olympics over his cartoons. He learnt about the different games and their rules as well as flags of the different countries. Then last weekend, he saw a youtube clip of the 2004 Tsunami in Phuket (don't ask me why daddy was watching it), and the whole weekend we were bombarded with why why and more whys. We had to explain to him what causes Tsunami, about earthquakes, about what causes earthquakes, and the list goes on.

Any ideas of what other activities/programmes I should explore for H?

nanny interview guide and orientation checklist

I have no recollection whatsoever of me ever being so organised. While searching through my external hard disk looking for an old work document, I stumbled upon two really useful files. I actually had a nanny interview guide and a nanny orientation pack, both I wrote more than a year back (L was only 10 months old then) when we had to resort to advertising in search for a stranger as nanny.

I'm so happy. I can just update and re-use the orientation checklist when the new nanny arrives. Po-Po and I have been preparing the kids about having a new nanny so that it won't be a shock to them. Both kids have different reactions whenever the topic is broached.

H: Remember what I said, I don't need a new aunty <getting into his complaining mode>

L: I want the pink aunty

I'm not sure if L really understood us when we told her that she's getting a new nanny. Po-Po asked which one is the pink aunty (we met 4 aunties that day so perhaps L has a preference over one of them). But for the life of me, I don't remember what anyone of them wore. I've never been the observant type. Maybe hubs will remember - must remember to ask him tonight.

 

Here's a copy of the interview guide. Please PM me if you'd like a copy of the orientation pack for reference.

weaning off milk bottle

I'm weaning H off his milk bottle. He keeps biting the bottle teat and it's getting way too expensive for me to replace the teats every other day. So enough is enough. I told H I'm not buying anymore new teats, he's a big boy now and big boys drink from cups. So far so good - it's been 2 days since the no-bottle rule started. He's not resisting since he's always proclaiming to be a big boy. There are however two problems with H drinking from the cup.

1. He drinks too slowly. So when we're in a rush (especially in the mornings) I cannot just give him the milk bottle and ask him to drink in the car. At night when I put him to bed, I cannot just give him the bottle and leave. I have to sit and wait for him to finish to take the cup from him
2. He often spills his milk since he drinks and talks at the same time. This is especially troublesome since I'll have to change him again, or worse, I'll have to change the bedsheet / sofa cover (depending on where he drinks his milk). Now I've resorted to making him sit on the floor when he drinks his milk

This is not the first time we imposed the no-bottle rule. In fact, we did so when H was 3 but we sort of regressed after a week or so since Po-Po was concerned that H wasn't drinking as much milk without the bottle. Maybe milk doesn't taste as good in a cup, or kids are simply 'addicted' to bottle sucking (I think it has a calming effect on kids) and not so much the milk itself.

So it's a balance between spending money on teats vs. convenience vs. drink more milk. I guess you can't win it all... hehehe... :-)

Bao Bei vs. Mandarin Lighthouse

L came back from her mandarin enrichment class yesterday with a certificate of attendance & accomplishment. My mandarin is so rusty I can only vaguely decipher what the teacher wrote on her certificate. Seems like my little girl is doing great!

Since we're planning to send our kids to a chinese primary school, it's never too early to prepare them. Lucky for us, both H and L like the language and are happy and eager to learn it... phew!

H went to Bao Bei twice a week when he was 3. But ever since he started preschool this year, I've stopped his lessons in Bao Bei as I didn't want to overtire him. Besides, his preschool covers all three languages (English, Mandarin, Bahasa Malaysia) as part of its core curriculum, so I figured this should be sufficient. L is going to Mandarin Lighthouse, she just started last term. Why not Bao Bei? you may ask. Here are my take:

1. Bao Bei
I have no issue with Bao Bei. The reason why I sent H there was that I've heard rave reviews about the effectiveness of the programme. It uses flashcards (right brain learning approach) and H could read over 100 chinese characters in just a couple of months. The teachers are also very supportive in helping the kids gain independence, like going to the toilet by themselves, etc. However, parents aren't allowed to observe the class so I don't really know what goes on during the lessons. Classes can be big (up to 20 kids) and are mixed age (from 2 all the way to 10 years old and up). The environment is also more sterile (the typical get-the-job-done-with-no-frills type set up). It took H close to a month before he got settled in, i.e. no more crying and refusing to go into class. I wasn't sure if he was enjoying his class, but he certainly was enjoying playing teacher and flashing the vocab cards to us at home (yes they're given the flashcards to take home once they've mastered reading the characters on the cards). Overall I think Bao Bei is good if you want your kids to master character recognition / reading quickly.



Flashcards from Bao Bei

2. Mandarin Lighthouse
I chose Mandarin Lighthouse for L because I wanted a 'gentler' approach since L was barely 2 years old when she started. I don't need her to know how to read or write, I just wanted to immerse her in the Mandarin language through storytelling, music, activities & games, etc. What I like about the programme is that it also incorporates elements of Montessori (since the centre is primarily set up as a Mandarin Montessori playschool) and Julia Gabriel's Edudrama (since Teacher Ho was from Julia Gabriel). The lessons are theme based - there is an overall theme for the term which guides the mini theme for each lesson. For example, the theme for last term was "All About Me" and one of the lessons had the mini theme "About My Family". During each lesson, the kids will enjoy songs, story and activities related to the mini theme. They will also be taught 3 new words and make their very own flashcards to bring home. L enjoys going to class from her very first lesson. It could be a personality thing since L is rather independent, but so far so good, and I'm pretty happy with centre.


Flashcards from Mandarin Lighthouse - mandarin characters on one side, picture & pin yin on the other

Hang-man

H loves games, especially word-related games. Ever since he was first introduced to Word World when he was around 3, he's been fascinated with word building. The programme is amazing. If you've not watched it, please do. It's shown on Disney Junior (Astro Channel 613) every weeknight at 8:30pm.

So last night, instead of a bedtime story, H wanted to play hangman. You know the traditional word guessing game we used to play when we were kids? Of course, as with all games, H came up with his own rules. You are given 1,000 points to start off with and you can use these points to purchase hints. This was how the game went...

1. First word for mommy

After 2 wrong letters, H asked if I wanted a clue. I said why not. "An animal that goes quack quack"

  "I know, DUCK!"

 



2. Seond word for mommy
I was lucky I got the first 2 letters right, so immediately the word BALLOON became apparent :-)

 The rule was that you have to draw out the word once your opponent's guessed it right.

3. Third word for mommy
I must admit I wasn't very good at this. Although I got the letter 'H' correct right at the start, I just couldn't figure out what the word was.

 See all the tries I made...

 

"Can mommy have a clue?"

"No, you have no more points". Apparently it costs 1,000 points per clue so I've ran out of points. After some cajolling, H gave me the clue for free "If you don't want chong-chong (虫虫) to get into your feet you have to wear this"

 

Of course, why didn't I think of that. The word was SHOE! Silly mommy... :-)

Terrible Two to Terrific Two

I'm not sure what got into my little girl but she was such a little angel yesterday.

Last night when we were leaving Po-Po's house, I told H to pick up his dominoes. He refused and told Po-Po to pick them up instead. He was at the door and demanded to go home (now!) so that he can have his milk. Little L said "I will help" and so she did. She helped Po-Po put the dominoes back into the box, and we all praised her for being helpful.

On the way back in the car, I told H that he's not to bite the teat of his milk bottle. He's now left with only one bottle with teat, so he can only have one bottle of milk before bed (H has a tendency to ask for 2 sometimes 3 bottles of milk before he finally falls asleep). Little L said "I can share my bottle with kor-kor." How generous of little L to want to share her bottles. So I praised her for being nice and generous to her big brother.

After reading them a book, I told H & L it was time for bed. H, as usual, gave me a whole bunch of excuses for not wanting to go to bed. L is normally the same but last night, she obediently followed me to her room and allowed the nanny to get her ready for bed (again this is unusual as she normally insists that I get her ready instead). No fuss at all!

Is my Terrible Two turning into a Terrific Two?!!  Hmmm... maybe a little praise does go a long way!

Our nanny search (Part II)

It was a hectic weekend for us. We spent the whole Saturday interviewing prospective nanny candidates. The kids were with us the whole time. I felt really bad that we have to drag them along, but there was no one to look after them at home. So the whole time we were out, we kept getting asked the same questions over and over again where are we going?

L: We go where?
Me: Not we go where, dear. Where are we going (see that's what I meant by bad English)
L: Where are we going?
Me: We're going to meet a new aunty
H: I don't want a new aunty
Me: Then who's going to take care of you and mei mei
H: Mommy and daddy
Me: But mommy and daddy need to go to work. Who's gonna take care of you when we're at work?
H: Kakak lina

I've had the same discussion with hubs before going ahead with the nanny search. Is a nanny really neccesary now that the kids are somewhat independent? I mean, H is already in preschool and L is definitely ready to stay in nursery all 5 days a week. My mom (the kids' Po-Po) are with them most afternoons anyway. My maid, who's so far been quite trustworthy, can start to take over the nanny's duties. But after much debate, we figured we should still have another trusted adult at home so that Po-Po doesn't have to be tied down and we would still need someone to cook dinner anyway.

So we've now confirmed a new aunty to come for a one-week trial period starting 3rd week Oct. Hopefully the kids will accept her well. If not, we have another 2 back-ups :-)

If only I can take the kids to work...

Law of attraction

While driving to work this morning I was listening to Michael Losier discussing the Law of Attraction on the Red Breakfast Show. Essentially he's saying that your thoughts and speech give out vibes which will then attract the corresponding outcomes/results. So if you think positive thoughts, you're sending out positive vibrations which will attract positive results; likewise if you think negative thoughts, you're sending out negative vibrations which will attract negative results. So what he's saying is that we should avoid saying 'Can't', 'No' or 'Don't', but instead rephrase our words to reflect what we want to accomplish. We should also avoid repeating undesirable stories about someone as this will just reinforce the undesirable behaviour or characteristics of that person.

I guess this is nothing new but I've never thought of it beyond how we ought to talk to our kids. I've always been reminded by my big sister (who is a trained early childhood educator) that we should never tell the kids (especially toddlers) 'No' or 'Don't' as they would not hear these words but instead only hear what follows. For example if I tell my little girl 'Don't put your fingers in your mouth', she will go ahead and put them in her mouth. If I tell her 'Dont' hit your kor-kor', she will go ahead and hit her brother. I'm sure many of us have experienced this. So the way to handle such situation is always to tell them what you want. For example 'Why don't we go wash our hands' or 'Please sayang your kor-kor like this'. In most cases, this actually works as you distract them from doing the 'negative' to doing the 'positive'.

After this morning's talk, I think I have to apply the Law of Attraction further. I must STOP thinking and telling people that H is shy and has no confidence, and that L is stubborn and defiant. Instead, I MUST start projecting positive thoughts and imagine how a confident H is and how a well-behaved L is :-) 

Evaluation of international schools

I must thank the many mommy bloggers out there for helping make my research on school options that much easier. These days there is just so much info out there in cyber space. After synthesising what I've read from other parents in blogs and forums relating to primary education and schools (mostly their views and first hand experience), my conclusion is that unless you want to spend more than RM3,000 a month on tuition fees (mind you the fees go up as you move up each academic year) in an established 'real' international school, don't bother!

By 'real' I mean:

1. International schools that are run by real educationists, not some developers trying to make their properties sell better
2. International schools that hire qualified and exprienced teachers, not just some expat interns claiming to be teachers
3. International shcools that have strong track record. Many private schools have recently been converted to international schools to satisfy the demand for international curriculum. However the same teaching staff are retained - overnight they have to change from delivering the national syllabus which they've been trained to, to delivering the new interntaional syllabus  

Since hubs' criteria is also for the school to be near our house (we just can't bear the thought of having to sit through the morning rush hour traffic to send the kids to school, not to mention that our poor kids will have to wake up extra early in the morning just to beat the traffic), we essentially are down to 2 schools that meet the above criteria. Unfortunately both these schools are way off our budget.

So I guess it's back to the drawing board. H will probably be going to a chinese primary school. We just need to make sure that we supplement H with the right out-of-school activities to counter the negative effects of a chinese school education. I shall talk about this another time. Next assignment - find out what people are saying about the chinese primary schools I have in mind, and pay the schools a visit :-)

Our nanny search

So far our search for a nanny has been less than promising. There are a few new criteria learning from our experience with our current nanny

1. The nanny must speak good english, else none at all - we don't want our kids to pick up broken english since they will be spending more time at home with her than us.  Hubs gets mad each time he hears H speaking with 'lahs' and 'mahs', and we get worried over L's pronunciation and grammar since she's still at the impressionable age of 2. It was difficult telling our current nanny not to speak english to the kids as we didn't want to hurt her feelings. We tried the roundabout way of telling her we wanted the kids to learn cantonese, etc. but this didn't quite work. Finally hubs had to be straight forward with her. Not sure if she really understood him but after some failed attempt of speaking to the kids in cantonese, she reverted back to using her limited english. This time round, we figured it will be much easier if we tell the non-english speaking nanny upfront during the interview that she is NOT to speak english to the kids
2. The nanny must like to cook and can cook up decent meals - this is high on hubs list of requirements, not such a big deal for me since I don't care much for food. But I do agree that the nanny should at least put in some effort when she cooks. We've been practically eating the same food every day for a year, and they are rather simply whipped together. Zero effort! Some nights I would have to teman hubs out to grab dinner cos he can't bear eating the same food over and over again. Really defeats the purpose of having home cooked meals if you have to go out and get your own dinner. We're not expecting 5-star michelin quality dinner, but some effort into cooking would be nice.

I've spoken to 24 candidates over the phone, interviewed 3 (out of which 1 is on my 'maybe' list), about to interview another 1 this weekend (I have quite high hopes on her since she's the only one who speaks english, hopefully she doesn't disappoint), and another 2 more hopefuls whom I have yet to set up interviews with. So the search goes on...

Watch what you say

I have to watch what I say to the kids cos they have the tendency to use the same exact words back at me. Sometimes I don't know whether to be angry or to laugh...

Bedtime
H: Mummy I want milk
I went downstairs and came back up with H's bottle of milk
H: <Taking the bottle from me> I want my jum-jum (bolster)
Me: Why din you say so when i went down to make your milk dear. Go get it yourself, mummy's legs will be tired going up and down

While packing L's bag getting ready to go out
Me: Dear can you please help mummy get mei mei's diapers from her room?
H: OK <And off he went - up to L's room and down with L's diaper>
Me: Thanks. Oh only 1? I need 2. Can you please get another one?
H: <Gave me the grumpy look> But my legs will be tired going up and down

 ------------

Eating durian
Me: Dear do you want some? Come here, mummy will give you some
For a good whole 10 minutes I was asking him the same question while he was running around and simply ignoring me. After I've finished and washed my hands...
H: Mummy I want some
Me: Sorry dear, I've washed my hands already. I don't want to dirty them again

Cleaning up after playing with his play-doh
Me: H, you're not done cleaning up, why are there still pieces on the floor? Come pick them up
H: You pick it up. I've washed my hands already I don't want to dirty them again

School choices - chinese or international school?

Everytime parents sit together the topic of education will most certainly pop up. We thought we had it all sussed out after many many hours of debate - we will send our kids to a chinese primary school and switch them to an international school after that. Hubs is convinced, I am convinced and we are pretty happy with our decision until...

I guess the topic will never be closed until H finally enters primary school. Hubs came back one night (last week) from a client dinner and guess what, they were talking about children and schools. So the topic got brought up again on whether our decision is right. I mean we still have time to decide, albeit not much since H is already 4 this year. If we were to send him to an international school, we'd better start researching now as he will have to enter Year 1 in September next year. After much debate we decided to stick to our original plan.

Then today a friend of mine called to have a casual chat. Again the topic of children education came up. I told her our plan of sending H to a chinese school. She spent the next half an hour convincing me otherwise. Since she has a son who's been through both systems and many more other friends with similar experiences, I thought I'd hear her out. So when I had lunch with hubs just now, we again talked about school choices for our kids.

Isn't this telling of the desirabilty of Malaysia's education system?!! It really irks me as a tax payer. We pay so much taxes yet we can't rely on the govt to provide good schools. So my task now is to search out good international schools with strong emphasis on mandarin. Not sure if such schools exist in KL. Hubs says preferably close to home too... really asking for too much! :-)

Kids and hotels

My company will be having our annual away day to Langkawi in November. I asked H if he wanted to go. His first response was are we staying in a hotel?

For kids, holiday = hotel or rather hotel = holiday. No point spending big bucks planning grand holidays for toddlers / preschoolers. So long as they're away from home and there's a pool, they're having a holiday. What's the fascination with hotels anyway? We still haven't figured out... perhaps it's the king size bed they get to jump up & down on without mommy and daddy yelling at them, or the many switches they can play with like turning on and off the lights, the long bath they get to bathe in with loads and loads of bubbles... what?

Amazing thing about H is that he has an amazing memory - not about the holiday destination (I don't think he cares much about where he went as I mentioned above), but he remembers every detail of the hotels we stayed in, including the room numbers. He just loves staying in hotels.

So back to the Langkawi trip. I told H he has to be friendly and talk to mommy's friends cos we're going with mommy's friends from work. He said he doesn't want to. Then I told him if he doesn't want to then he doesn't have to go. So he said ok he will. So we shall see...(yah i know I've resorted to using threat, I must remind myself not to do so the next time)

English names

Let's give the kids English names!

This is not the first time hubs brought this up. Each time he mentions this, I'll give him my unconvinced look. What's wrong with using their chinese names? Hub's argument is that it is easier for people to remember cos chinese names can be hard to pronounce, especially when you are in the working world. Well they won't be joining the working world anytime soon.

I'm not really against my kids having english names, but I just don't see the point. I told hubs it's up to him but the kids will probably not respond well to their new names.

Me: Daddy wants to call you Oliver, ok?
H: I don't want

Me: Can daddy call you Gillian?
L: No! I'm mei mei (妹妹)

So you see, new English names won't work, but I'll still leave it to hubs to decide. As far as I'm concern, I'll still be calling them by their chinese names... hehehe :p

mid-autumn lantern fun

We had some kids over last Saturday for some lantern fun. It was a good excuse to get together with the neighbours and also to satisfy my love for throwing parties (well it wasn't really a party but you get my drift).

I still have loads of paper lanterns from a couple years back and an electric one which I bought for H when he was 1 year old. I've been recycling them year after year - these things really last forever! This year I thought I'd get the kids new lanterns. It's crazy how much laterns cost these days. I paid almost RM18 each for the angry bird lanterns, and these are the typical wire and glass paper type lanterns from China. Imagine the profit margins!

Anyway I was really excited about the lanterns. I was quite certain that H and L would be thrilled when they see the cute angry bird lanterns. It turned out that H was more interested in the stick - he only wanted to play with the bamboo stick, while L preferred the traditional paper type lantern. The other kids were more excited with the ride-ons we have in our front porch. They were happily riding the cars/bikes and chasing each other. The adults were the ones busy lighting up the lanterns. But we did make the kids carry their lanterns for a short walk to the nearby playground. Can't really call it a lantern party without actually doing a lantern walkabout right? So that short walk was the only time the kids played with their lanterns. They were distracted when they got to the playground - more running about and chasing each other; and when they got back, they immediately went back to chasing each other on the ride-ons.

I wonder what is the difference between kids our days and kids these days. I remember we used to love playing with candles and lanterns, and everyone around the neighbourhood will be out and about with their lanterns (not just on the day itself but almost every other night before the festival). These days, you can hardly spot any kids with lanterns. Which is why all the more important we have to make it a point to organise such get-togethers lest the kids forget their cultural roots. Perhaps next year, I should also get my sis (who couldn't make it to the party that day) to tell the story of how the mooncake festival came about. I doubt many people know, I certainly don't and neither did any of my other guests :-)

Developing confidence and self-esteem

Following from my earlier post about my suspicion of H being bullied, I made a call to the school. It turns out that I was being paranoid after all. Well a mom can't be faulted for being over protective of her kids right?!! Anyway, I asked the principal about H and how he is like in school, and whether he has any friends.

I always knew that H is somewhat shy, and I really wanted to know if he participates in school and that he enjoys school. H is always so cheery and chatty at home and I wonder if he is the same in school. I mean, he doesn't resist going to school except for that one morning recently and maybe another 1-2 times in between since he started school in Jan this year. But whenever I asked him about school, about what he did in school, he will say he doesn't know. If I rephrased and asked if he enjoyed his day in school, he will say yes but no more than that. I just can't get him to elaborate. It's not like he doesn't know how to talk. Even his 2 year-old lil sis can tell me what she did in nursery.

So this is what I learnt from H's Teacher J. H is really good in class - he participates, he speaks up and he even helps his friends in their work. This is because he is ahead of his classmates academically and so he is confident of his ability. However, outside the classroom he tends to be more reserved. Teacher J says H is afraid to make mistakes and he seeks approval. For example, while waiting to be picked up, most kids will just play freely in the school compound. H will not do so unless the teacher urges him to go ahead. It's as though he's afraid that he will be doing something 'wrong'. I'm not sure if this is simply about following rules. I read somewhere recently that 4-year olds adore rules - in fact this can sometimes border on the obsessive. I hope this is just a phase. I can't have H shy away whenever he's faced with uncertainty or challenge. He needs to learn that it's ok to make mistakes and that he will learn from these mistakes and that mummy and daddy will always be there for him and that we will always love him no matter what.

So once again, momster me will have to come up with bedtime stories to reinforce these important life lessons. I find that stories are a great way to impart life lessons since kids love stories. Thinking up stories do require some creativity though - they cannot be too direct else the kid will know that you're referring to him/her. Hence they need to be cleverly disguised as an interesting story - a story they can relate to and sympathise with. After the story, we'll then discuss about what the little boy/girl/animal did, what else could he/she/it have done, etc. I will share some of these stories another time...