how much does it cost to raise a kid

After scouting around for the right school for H, we've finally landed on a decision, and I must say we're pretty happy and confident with our decision. H will be off to another international school January next year, and will be starting Year 1.

We've never thought much about the cost of education but after paying the registration fee, we got a little jittery. It's fine if you only have one kid, still ok if you have 2, but now we'll be having baby number 3. So it was time to really do some serious budgeting.

Based on my estimates taking into account inflation, to put a kid through 12 years of international schooling and 4 years in a top university overseas (I used UK as a benchmark since I'm more familiar with the system), it will cost us a whopping RM1.6 million. And this is just for the first kid!!! Lest you think we're wasting good money for early education, i.e. the primary and secondary years, the bulk of the costs is actually for tertiary education (>75%).

It's high time to put our investments to work. And I guess there also goes my early retirement plan!

book smart vs. street smart

H is as straight as a fiddle. He does not lie (not that lying is a good thing) but having a little craftiness is important when you face the real cruel world. Can street smartness be taught, or is it something of an in-born trait? L is the total opposite. She speaks with confidence and conviction, even if it's not true.

A while back I devised this incentive system for the kids. One of the chores they have to do to earn stars is to put away their toys after playing. Every night before going to bed, I'll ask the kids if they did what they were supposed to and rewarded them with stars.

Me: Did you put away your toys after you play?

The response I get will be totally different. For H, unless he's absolutely certain he did, he will always hesitate. "I'm not sure, ask kakak"

For L, she's always certain. "Sure I did. Look around you, it's so clean!" Of course we all know it's not true, cos by the time I get home, kakak would have already cleaned up the place for the night. Kakak, on hearing L will shout out "No you didn't!", to which L will rebuke, "Yes I did! You cannot say I didn't." That's my bossy little girl in action.

I also have this rule that the kids are not allowed to play with the i-pad on weekdays. One day as soon as I got home, H came running to me apologising, "I'm sorry mommy!" I was shocked and asked him what was the matter and he said "I played with the i-pad at po-po's house." That is really taking honesty to a different level - i.e. self confession!

Me: Did you play with the i-pad too, mei mei?
L: Nope!
H: Yes she did...

Honesty and integrity are great values that should be encouraged. I need to teach L about honesty, while instilling some street smartness into H. The former should be easy, but I have no clue whatsoever on how to tackle the latter.

the birds and the bees

How do you explain to your 5-year old where babies come from? Ever since we told H he's going to have a little baby, he's been ecstatic. It is so different from the time when we told him he was going to have a little sister (i.e. L), he wasn't too bothered and was rather disinterested. Along with his enthusiasm comes the dreaded questions. How does the baby come out? How did you put it in your stomach? Etc. etc.

The first question was easy cos for both H and L, I had a C-section. No need to explain about the natural birthing process, I just told him the doctor cut open my stomach and take the baby out. On hind sight, it must have been a little gruesome for him to grasp, imagine the doctor cutting open mummy's stomach. Urggghhh!!!

H: "Then how do you put it back?"
Me: "Put what back?"
H: "Your stomach?"
Me: "The doctor will use a needle and thread to sew it back, just like how you sew clothes"
H: "Is it painful?"
Me: "Yah just a little, but just for a while. It's like when you have a scratch and it hurts but it will heal and it won't hurt anymore"

Then H went silent. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. Maybe I should have just made it simple by saying mummy will go to the hospital and the doctor will take the baby out.

We then went for dinner and on the way, he suddenly asked.

H: "How did it get in there?"
Me: "What get in where?"
H: "The baby"

That sure is a tough question. I wasn't sure how to answer, being caught off guard. And remembering to keep it simple this time, I just blurted, "mummy planted it there". H found this funny, but he's also too smart to take me seriously. "What?!!! How can you plant a baby?"

Luckily he didn't try to probe further, whew!!! I'm sure the question will pop up again. This time I better have a good answer. So how do you explain to a pre-schooler where babies come from? Hmmmm... I need to get a book!