Our nanny search (Part II)

It was a hectic weekend for us. We spent the whole Saturday interviewing prospective nanny candidates. The kids were with us the whole time. I felt really bad that we have to drag them along, but there was no one to look after them at home. So the whole time we were out, we kept getting asked the same questions over and over again where are we going?

L: We go where?
Me: Not we go where, dear. Where are we going (see that's what I meant by bad English)
L: Where are we going?
Me: We're going to meet a new aunty
H: I don't want a new aunty
Me: Then who's going to take care of you and mei mei
H: Mommy and daddy
Me: But mommy and daddy need to go to work. Who's gonna take care of you when we're at work?
H: Kakak lina

I've had the same discussion with hubs before going ahead with the nanny search. Is a nanny really neccesary now that the kids are somewhat independent? I mean, H is already in preschool and L is definitely ready to stay in nursery all 5 days a week. My mom (the kids' Po-Po) are with them most afternoons anyway. My maid, who's so far been quite trustworthy, can start to take over the nanny's duties. But after much debate, we figured we should still have another trusted adult at home so that Po-Po doesn't have to be tied down and we would still need someone to cook dinner anyway.

So we've now confirmed a new aunty to come for a one-week trial period starting 3rd week Oct. Hopefully the kids will accept her well. If not, we have another 2 back-ups :-)

If only I can take the kids to work...

Law of attraction

While driving to work this morning I was listening to Michael Losier discussing the Law of Attraction on the Red Breakfast Show. Essentially he's saying that your thoughts and speech give out vibes which will then attract the corresponding outcomes/results. So if you think positive thoughts, you're sending out positive vibrations which will attract positive results; likewise if you think negative thoughts, you're sending out negative vibrations which will attract negative results. So what he's saying is that we should avoid saying 'Can't', 'No' or 'Don't', but instead rephrase our words to reflect what we want to accomplish. We should also avoid repeating undesirable stories about someone as this will just reinforce the undesirable behaviour or characteristics of that person.

I guess this is nothing new but I've never thought of it beyond how we ought to talk to our kids. I've always been reminded by my big sister (who is a trained early childhood educator) that we should never tell the kids (especially toddlers) 'No' or 'Don't' as they would not hear these words but instead only hear what follows. For example if I tell my little girl 'Don't put your fingers in your mouth', she will go ahead and put them in her mouth. If I tell her 'Dont' hit your kor-kor', she will go ahead and hit her brother. I'm sure many of us have experienced this. So the way to handle such situation is always to tell them what you want. For example 'Why don't we go wash our hands' or 'Please sayang your kor-kor like this'. In most cases, this actually works as you distract them from doing the 'negative' to doing the 'positive'.

After this morning's talk, I think I have to apply the Law of Attraction further. I must STOP thinking and telling people that H is shy and has no confidence, and that L is stubborn and defiant. Instead, I MUST start projecting positive thoughts and imagine how a confident H is and how a well-behaved L is :-) 

Evaluation of international schools

I must thank the many mommy bloggers out there for helping make my research on school options that much easier. These days there is just so much info out there in cyber space. After synthesising what I've read from other parents in blogs and forums relating to primary education and schools (mostly their views and first hand experience), my conclusion is that unless you want to spend more than RM3,000 a month on tuition fees (mind you the fees go up as you move up each academic year) in an established 'real' international school, don't bother!

By 'real' I mean:

1. International schools that are run by real educationists, not some developers trying to make their properties sell better
2. International schools that hire qualified and exprienced teachers, not just some expat interns claiming to be teachers
3. International shcools that have strong track record. Many private schools have recently been converted to international schools to satisfy the demand for international curriculum. However the same teaching staff are retained - overnight they have to change from delivering the national syllabus which they've been trained to, to delivering the new interntaional syllabus  

Since hubs' criteria is also for the school to be near our house (we just can't bear the thought of having to sit through the morning rush hour traffic to send the kids to school, not to mention that our poor kids will have to wake up extra early in the morning just to beat the traffic), we essentially are down to 2 schools that meet the above criteria. Unfortunately both these schools are way off our budget.

So I guess it's back to the drawing board. H will probably be going to a chinese primary school. We just need to make sure that we supplement H with the right out-of-school activities to counter the negative effects of a chinese school education. I shall talk about this another time. Next assignment - find out what people are saying about the chinese primary schools I have in mind, and pay the schools a visit :-)

Our nanny search

So far our search for a nanny has been less than promising. There are a few new criteria learning from our experience with our current nanny

1. The nanny must speak good english, else none at all - we don't want our kids to pick up broken english since they will be spending more time at home with her than us.  Hubs gets mad each time he hears H speaking with 'lahs' and 'mahs', and we get worried over L's pronunciation and grammar since she's still at the impressionable age of 2. It was difficult telling our current nanny not to speak english to the kids as we didn't want to hurt her feelings. We tried the roundabout way of telling her we wanted the kids to learn cantonese, etc. but this didn't quite work. Finally hubs had to be straight forward with her. Not sure if she really understood him but after some failed attempt of speaking to the kids in cantonese, she reverted back to using her limited english. This time round, we figured it will be much easier if we tell the non-english speaking nanny upfront during the interview that she is NOT to speak english to the kids
2. The nanny must like to cook and can cook up decent meals - this is high on hubs list of requirements, not such a big deal for me since I don't care much for food. But I do agree that the nanny should at least put in some effort when she cooks. We've been practically eating the same food every day for a year, and they are rather simply whipped together. Zero effort! Some nights I would have to teman hubs out to grab dinner cos he can't bear eating the same food over and over again. Really defeats the purpose of having home cooked meals if you have to go out and get your own dinner. We're not expecting 5-star michelin quality dinner, but some effort into cooking would be nice.

I've spoken to 24 candidates over the phone, interviewed 3 (out of which 1 is on my 'maybe' list), about to interview another 1 this weekend (I have quite high hopes on her since she's the only one who speaks english, hopefully she doesn't disappoint), and another 2 more hopefuls whom I have yet to set up interviews with. So the search goes on...

Watch what you say

I have to watch what I say to the kids cos they have the tendency to use the same exact words back at me. Sometimes I don't know whether to be angry or to laugh...

Bedtime
H: Mummy I want milk
I went downstairs and came back up with H's bottle of milk
H: <Taking the bottle from me> I want my jum-jum (bolster)
Me: Why din you say so when i went down to make your milk dear. Go get it yourself, mummy's legs will be tired going up and down

While packing L's bag getting ready to go out
Me: Dear can you please help mummy get mei mei's diapers from her room?
H: OK <And off he went - up to L's room and down with L's diaper>
Me: Thanks. Oh only 1? I need 2. Can you please get another one?
H: <Gave me the grumpy look> But my legs will be tired going up and down

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Eating durian
Me: Dear do you want some? Come here, mummy will give you some
For a good whole 10 minutes I was asking him the same question while he was running around and simply ignoring me. After I've finished and washed my hands...
H: Mummy I want some
Me: Sorry dear, I've washed my hands already. I don't want to dirty them again

Cleaning up after playing with his play-doh
Me: H, you're not done cleaning up, why are there still pieces on the floor? Come pick them up
H: You pick it up. I've washed my hands already I don't want to dirty them again