Middle child syndrome

Just realised I've left the blog for more than half a year. So much has happened but no time to jot down. Baby R is turning one soon. He's grown so fast and is starting to become more interactive but this post is not about the baby, it's about my little girl L. Everyday seems to be a struggle with her - she just drives me up the wall. No matter how much I tell myself to be patient, I find myself yelling at her all the time.

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Found the above draft post from a year ago which somehow I did not finish writing and post. Fast forward one year and thinking back, I do feel a tinge of regret for being so harsh on L on her behaviour. She was only trying to adjust to having a little baby around and was vying hard for attention since we did not have a nanny to help out and I was always with baby R. She is now such a darling to R, who will be turning 2 soon.

I sometimes do feel for L, being the middle child. My attention is mostly with H and baby R. H, because he is school going, so I need to help him with his homework and make sure he goes to bed on time. Baby R, because he is at this clingy phase and clings to be like a koala bear whenever I am around. So that leaves me no time for L. My poor little L, I hope she doesn't think that mommy loves her less than kor kor and di di :-(

Occasionally, L will say that she wants to be a baby or she likes being a baby; sometimes she will say that she wished she was a boy! Sigh... what should I do?

Financial management for kids

I can't believe it's been 1.5 years since my last post. Baby R is turning 2 soon, and he's been such a joy to have around the house. This post is not about baby R, but what prompted me to write again is the need to jot down my thoughts on the very important life lesson of financial management.

It really is never too young to start teaching concepts of delayed gratification, savings and being prudent. Let me first start with this very light moment which we all found rather hilarious...

One Saturday morning we asked the kids if they would like to go out for breakfast with us (hubs and I normally like to eat out on weekends).
H: Then we'll have to spend money. Why can't we just eat at home?
L: OK kor you eat at home then, I'm going out with mommy & daddy!

Two kids raised in the same home, two very different perspective. H, always the prudent one; L on the other hand, can often time be demanding. We thought the above exchange was rather funny, nothing more.

But hilarious no more when I witnessed first hand the way kids these days spend money when I was given the opportunity to chaperon a bunch of kids in a school field trip recently. The kids were spending at the souvenir shop like there's no tomorrow, ravaging the shelves and filling their baskets with all kinds of toys, novelties, knick knacks, etc. I must say it was really a culture shock for me. How much money do these kids have with them? Do they really need all those stuff? They were mostly 7 to 8 year-olds and the way they were allowed to freely spend made me extremely worried. These kids are going to grow up not appreciating the value of hard earned money. I can appreciate that parents may want to shower their kids with what they want (we love our kids and we can afford to spend on them so what's wrong with that?!!), but aren't we just seeding a whole generation of entitled kids?

I remember a friend once complained to me that his teenage son demanded for a car to go to college, not just any car mind you, but an expensive sports car. We may put the blame on the kid for being materialistic, but frankly, my friend ought to take the blame too. If this boy has been given everything he wanted all his life without having to work hard for it, what can you expect? It is easy to indulge the younger kids as their demands aren't as "costly" (yet), but we are just setting ourselves up for larger and larger demands as they grow older.

I'm so glad H is still grounded. I say 'still', since he's in an environment whereby he sees his peers spending freely ever so often, and hope it stays this way. Quite often I find myself reminding my kids about how hard it is to earn a dollar, about needs vs. wants, about having to save for a rainy day, etc. I just pray and hope that they will remain grounded and not succumb to peer pressure.

Dhamma School

I'm really very happy that the kids are enjoying Dhamma School. It certainly makes having to wake up early on Sunday mornings worthwhile. Last Sunday was their second lesson and they are already learning something good. As soon as class was over, H asked me if I knew how many precepts a monk has and he proudly told me that a monk has 227 precepts to keep (I think that was what he told me. It's only Monday and already I've forgotten) while we only need to keep 5.

That same night we were hanging out in the courtyard. The kids were playing while I was cutting out foam army tanks and helicopters for H's upcoming birthday party. A pesky mosquito was flying around. It didn't really bother me and I was shooing it away but as soon as it landed on H's thigh, I reached out to hit it. I normally wouldn't but with so many cases of dengue these days I wouldn't want to risk it. Immediately H reacted, "mommy, why did you kill the mosquito? You're not supposed to kill!" Oh my, my boy has so quickly internalised the first precept - i.e. refrain from killing. Oops... "Oh yah you're right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill the mosquito, I accidentally hit it too hard." Double oops... not only did I break the first precept, I broke the fourth one too - i.e. refrain from lying.

I'm back

After 4 months of hiatus, I'm finally back at writing :-)

Baby R is now 4 months+ and just as he's getting cuter by the day and more interactive, I've now gone back to work. July 1st marked my first day of work after a long maternity break. Thank god it's been pretty relaxing so I can still head off by 6pm. There is so much to do in the evenings - making sure that H finishes his homework (I've since outsourced this to my mom), expressing milk for baby R, rushing the kids to finish their dinner (else it can take a whole hour) and getting them ready for bed (i.e. changing, reading and chatting). Bedtime is 8:30pm for the kids so all these need to happen in the short 2 hours I have with them. Whew!!! Very rushed indeed!!!

H's birthday is also coming up so after the kids are all in bed, it's time to get the party stuff done. This year's theme is 'Army'. He's been waiting for his birthday since forever. We're doing it slightly different this year. Instead of receiving birthday presents, H has very generously agreed to have his friends bring stuff to be donated to a children shelter. So proud of him. He didn't even hesitate when I suggested that we do something meaningful since he's already got so many toys/games and doesn't need any more. L is also very excited about her birthday although it's only in September. Whenever we talk about H's upcoming party, she also wants to talk about hers. I guess she doesn't want to feel left out. Unlike previous years when she was happy celebrating just with family members, this year she is already planning to invite her school friends. We now need to convince daddy that we also need to have a birthday party for L. Daddy's policy has been "only one party a year" so we nee to change that... hahaha.

Unlike H, L wasn't too receptive when I suggested to her that instead of receiving presents we give to the needy. Although she did not out-rightly disagree, my cunning little girl said,"mommy, my friends insisted that they want to give me presents for my birthday!". Well, I guess she's still little and not yet ready to give so we won't force it :-)

There is just so much to update this post is becoming a mumble jumble of stuff... hahaha. Here are some highlight:

1. Hubs and I finally completed the Buddhist course so we can now be members of BUBS and our kids can now attend the Sunday Dharma School. 
2. Kids started Dharma School last Sunday. I must say it is very well organised. I like that aside from doing puja, they also do metta meditation before the lesson starts. It will be good for the kids to learn the Dharma teachings, ask questions and hopefully put them in practice. A couple of weeks back, L actually asked me this, "How can the Buddha protect you when he's just a statue?". This came about when I taught her how to chant "Om Mani Padme Hum" when she's scared as she's been refusing to go to bed on her own saying she's afraid. Kids really do ask the toughest questions... haha... and I had to scratch my head to give her a proper yet simple enough answer for her to understand. *sweat* 
3. My maid is going back to Indonesia for a 2-week break. Let's hope she returns else we will have another headache.
4. H is having a school play tomorrow so I've taken the day off. Yah I know, after 3 days of work and I'm already taking leave... hahaha
5. L has been asking for play dates with her friends from school. They do start young these days. At 4, they're already planning play dates. So far we've had 2 play dates. Now that I've returned to work I don't think we can have anymore anytime soon. When I told L that she said, "Why do some mommies not have to work? SS's mommy doesn't have to work!". Hmmm good question, go ask your daddy... haha :-p 

  

Auspicious date for c-section

We've finally decided on the date for my c-section although we would very much prefer that the baby chooses his own time of arrival. But you know lah, doctors these days will try to talk you out of having an emergency c-section so no choice, have to still give a preferred date and time. Since we aren't strong believers of Feng Shui, we didn't want to pay to get the baby's delivery date chosen by some random sifu. But then our kiasu side also couldn't get over the fact that we may end up picking an inauspicious date. It's fine if he chooses his own time of arrival and seals his own fate (like his two older siblings), but if he's forced to come out on the day we choose, what then?

So just to satisfy ourselves, we've resorted to using a simple DIY method to choose the auspicious date and time of birth for our baby based on the Astrological Birth Weight system. You can find the birth weight calculator online by simply googling.

This is what it says for the date and time we chose:

"A wealthy life. Exceptionally smart and bright. Life is easy for you. You don't have to depend on your family and will be able to establish your own life. You will enjoy excellent family affinity and you will enjoy lots of prosperity luck. An angel has been with you since you were born. Whatever you do will be blessed. Lucky stars will always shine on you, helping you achieve all your wishes"

Let's hope that's true. But I still hope he chooses to come out when he's ready, hopefully before the scheduled c-section (we've scheduled it as close to my EDD as possible).