Dhamma School

I'm really very happy that the kids are enjoying Dhamma School. It certainly makes having to wake up early on Sunday mornings worthwhile. Last Sunday was their second lesson and they are already learning something good. As soon as class was over, H asked me if I knew how many precepts a monk has and he proudly told me that a monk has 227 precepts to keep (I think that was what he told me. It's only Monday and already I've forgotten) while we only need to keep 5.

That same night we were hanging out in the courtyard. The kids were playing while I was cutting out foam army tanks and helicopters for H's upcoming birthday party. A pesky mosquito was flying around. It didn't really bother me and I was shooing it away but as soon as it landed on H's thigh, I reached out to hit it. I normally wouldn't but with so many cases of dengue these days I wouldn't want to risk it. Immediately H reacted, "mommy, why did you kill the mosquito? You're not supposed to kill!" Oh my, my boy has so quickly internalised the first precept - i.e. refrain from killing. Oops... "Oh yah you're right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill the mosquito, I accidentally hit it too hard." Double oops... not only did I break the first precept, I broke the fourth one too - i.e. refrain from lying.

I'm back

After 4 months of hiatus, I'm finally back at writing :-)

Baby R is now 4 months+ and just as he's getting cuter by the day and more interactive, I've now gone back to work. July 1st marked my first day of work after a long maternity break. Thank god it's been pretty relaxing so I can still head off by 6pm. There is so much to do in the evenings - making sure that H finishes his homework (I've since outsourced this to my mom), expressing milk for baby R, rushing the kids to finish their dinner (else it can take a whole hour) and getting them ready for bed (i.e. changing, reading and chatting). Bedtime is 8:30pm for the kids so all these need to happen in the short 2 hours I have with them. Whew!!! Very rushed indeed!!!

H's birthday is also coming up so after the kids are all in bed, it's time to get the party stuff done. This year's theme is 'Army'. He's been waiting for his birthday since forever. We're doing it slightly different this year. Instead of receiving birthday presents, H has very generously agreed to have his friends bring stuff to be donated to a children shelter. So proud of him. He didn't even hesitate when I suggested that we do something meaningful since he's already got so many toys/games and doesn't need any more. L is also very excited about her birthday although it's only in September. Whenever we talk about H's upcoming party, she also wants to talk about hers. I guess she doesn't want to feel left out. Unlike previous years when she was happy celebrating just with family members, this year she is already planning to invite her school friends. We now need to convince daddy that we also need to have a birthday party for L. Daddy's policy has been "only one party a year" so we nee to change that... hahaha.

Unlike H, L wasn't too receptive when I suggested to her that instead of receiving presents we give to the needy. Although she did not out-rightly disagree, my cunning little girl said,"mommy, my friends insisted that they want to give me presents for my birthday!". Well, I guess she's still little and not yet ready to give so we won't force it :-)

There is just so much to update this post is becoming a mumble jumble of stuff... hahaha. Here are some highlight:

1. Hubs and I finally completed the Buddhist course so we can now be members of BUBS and our kids can now attend the Sunday Dharma School. 
2. Kids started Dharma School last Sunday. I must say it is very well organised. I like that aside from doing puja, they also do metta meditation before the lesson starts. It will be good for the kids to learn the Dharma teachings, ask questions and hopefully put them in practice. A couple of weeks back, L actually asked me this, "How can the Buddha protect you when he's just a statue?". This came about when I taught her how to chant "Om Mani Padme Hum" when she's scared as she's been refusing to go to bed on her own saying she's afraid. Kids really do ask the toughest questions... haha... and I had to scratch my head to give her a proper yet simple enough answer for her to understand. *sweat* 
3. My maid is going back to Indonesia for a 2-week break. Let's hope she returns else we will have another headache.
4. H is having a school play tomorrow so I've taken the day off. Yah I know, after 3 days of work and I'm already taking leave... hahaha
5. L has been asking for play dates with her friends from school. They do start young these days. At 4, they're already planning play dates. So far we've had 2 play dates. Now that I've returned to work I don't think we can have anymore anytime soon. When I told L that she said, "Why do some mommies not have to work? SS's mommy doesn't have to work!". Hmmm good question, go ask your daddy... haha :-p 

  

Auspicious date for c-section

We've finally decided on the date for my c-section although we would very much prefer that the baby chooses his own time of arrival. But you know lah, doctors these days will try to talk you out of having an emergency c-section so no choice, have to still give a preferred date and time. Since we aren't strong believers of Feng Shui, we didn't want to pay to get the baby's delivery date chosen by some random sifu. But then our kiasu side also couldn't get over the fact that we may end up picking an inauspicious date. It's fine if he chooses his own time of arrival and seals his own fate (like his two older siblings), but if he's forced to come out on the day we choose, what then?

So just to satisfy ourselves, we've resorted to using a simple DIY method to choose the auspicious date and time of birth for our baby based on the Astrological Birth Weight system. You can find the birth weight calculator online by simply googling.

This is what it says for the date and time we chose:

"A wealthy life. Exceptionally smart and bright. Life is easy for you. You don't have to depend on your family and will be able to establish your own life. You will enjoy excellent family affinity and you will enjoy lots of prosperity luck. An angel has been with you since you were born. Whatever you do will be blessed. Lucky stars will always shine on you, helping you achieve all your wishes"

Let's hope that's true. But I still hope he chooses to come out when he's ready, hopefully before the scheduled c-section (we've scheduled it as close to my EDD as possible).

Sleep training

Training L to sleep on her own seemed to be easier than I imagined. It's been a week plus now and she's already sleeping on her own. I think this has very much to do with her personality. How should I describe her? Hmmm... can't say she's as brave as her brother cos she doesn't like the dark and would never ever venture upstairs on her own if everyone's downstairs. "I'm too scared!" she always says. So I figured it must be her kiasu-ness that made up for her fear of the dark. She's one who never admits defeat, and loves to show off.

The first two nights, I had to stay with her until she fell asleep. 

The next two nights, she became more confident. Although still a little scared of the dark, she insisted she can sleep on her own but as soon as we left the room she came out and started sobbing quietly, not wanting to alert anyone. 

Lots of praise and encouragement went on. "Mummy's so proud of you. Although you were scared but you still tried to sleep on your own!"

Big brother H also chipped in "Kor kor is also so proud of you!"

We then got her a night light and set up the baby monitor in her room.

"See, now you have light so your room's not dark anymore. And you don't have to come out of your room if you need anything, you just need to sit up in your bed and call and we'll hear you!"

She was extremely fascinated with the baby monitor, running between her room and the nanny's room to test if it worked.

And the next few nights were a breeze. "You can go back to your room, I can sleep on my own!"

And that was it, L's sleep training is done!!!  So proud of my little girl!

Oh no, my CL bailed on me

Yes you heard right, my confinement lady has just bailed on me. Got a call from her 2 days ago informing us that she fell while spring cleaning her house and has broken her collar bone. Said it's unlikely she will recover in time to take on the job. Oh well, I guess it's really not her fault but at such a last minute, how to find a replacement?!!

We've been frantically calling up other CLs recommended by friends but as usual, all good ones are taken. Worst case is to take her friend whom she's referred us to as her replacement but that means we'll be taking chances since we don't know her friend. Thinking positively, this may be a blessing in disguise. Who knows, maybe her friend will turn out to be a gem of a CL :-)

Keeping all my fingers crossed!!!

Week 33

I'm already into week 33 of my pregnancy, how time flies. H is getting more excited and has been asking if we can get the baby out NOW! L is more cool about it. I think she's still too young to really comprehend how a new baby will affect her life. At least she's nice about it but I can really see the difference in H between this baby and when I was pregnant with L. He seems to really care and love the baby. Every single moment with H, he will be touching, kissing and talking to the baby (my belly).

It's now time to 'train' L to sleep on her own. I've told her nanny she'll be sleeping in the spare room starting tonight. L will have to sleep on her own. Hopefully she won't resist. I told her last night that she's now a big girl and she has to sleep all by herself and she said ok. Let's see how it goes tonight (keeping my fingers crossed)!

I'm also starting to feel the strain of this pregnancy now that my belly is getting bigger. Apparently the baby is starting to gain ~1 kg a month. A month ago during the check up it was 1.3kg, last week when I went for a check up it was 2.2kg, so in another 3 weeks when I go for my next check up it should be around 3kg already. My obgyn is trying to get us to schedule a c-section date - anytime between 18-22 Feb she said. I'm gonna try to schedule it as close to my EDD as possible cos I still think it's best the baby decides when he's ready to pop.

teaching kids values (part 2)

One of the biggest arguments against sending kids to an international school is this whole thing about cultivating strong values. No doubt the school environment plays a part but I think the home environment plays a much bigger part. It is unfortunate that we don't spend enough time with the kids on weekdays. Hubs normally only comes home when the kids are already asleep. As for me, I try to get home as soon as I can. It helps now that my travelling time is shorter since we've moved closer to where we work, but still, by the time I finish dinner, it's almost time for the kids to get ready for bed. So at most, I only get to spend 1-1.5 hours with them before the lights go off.

H will always want to chit chat and I always feel bad that I have to cut our chit chat time cos he needs to get enough sleep.

H: Can we chit chat some more?
Me: Nope we can chit chat tomorrow, you need to sleep now!

As I close his room door I always feel guilty. What if he stops wanting to chit chat with his mommy? What if he thinks I don't care enough?

The saving grace is that we can chit chat in the car on the way to school. Hubs feels that we should get a transporter since the traffic getting out of H's school to work can be horrendous in the morning. On average, the travelling time from home to school to office is about 1.5 hours. But that will mean losing our precious chit chat time. I really don't mind the travelling time, at least it gives me time to talk to H. By understanding what went on during his day in school or at home (e.g. something someone said, or something someone did, or simply something he encountered, etc.), I'll be able to provide him with the right perspectives or help him set things right.

This morning while driving to school, we drove past a construction site. Then he saw a few foreign workers walking towards the site and asked "Are they going to work? Why aren't they driving?"

Kids are so simple minded. Just because they get driven everywhere and they see mommy and daddy and the people they know drive to work, they automatically assume everyone has a car.

"Not everyone has a car, dear. Some people walk to work, some people take the bus, some people take the train"
"Why?"
"Because buying and maintaining a car is not cheap. You have to pay for the car and pay for petrol"

Then came my lessons about having to work hard, to be prudent, cannot waste, blah blah blah... Hopefully having these daily short chit chats is good enough to reinforce the right traits and values in H. Now I have to think about L. How do I find time to do the same with her?

teaching kids values

If I could, I would like to be the one spending most time with my kids. It baffles me sometimes what my kids say. I think it must be from the people they interact most with. In the case of L, that will be her nanny. Don't get me wrong, we love L's nanny to bits. She's extremely patient with the kids, and very soft spoken. The only thing I find with old aunties are they like to pass judgmental comments (e.g. saying someone is fat or something is ugly, etc.) and being superficial and judgmental is not what you want your kids to pick up.

Yesterday while having dinner with L, I asked her about school and her new friends. She was telling me about her new class and other random stuff and then she made this comment that made me sit up.

"Some girls are pretty and some girls are ugly"

Not knowing how to react, my first response was "all girls are pretty in their own way darling, there's no such thing as being ugly."

Then I added, "having a pretty face is not enough, you need to have a good heart. That will make you beautiful so everyone can be beautiful!"

I wasn't sure if she was paying attention to what I said because she started rattling on about other things. But I must find other opportunities to reinforce my message to her. Now how do I tell L's nanny to not pass judgmental comments about others in front of the kids? I don't want her to think that I'm accusing her of any wrongdoing. I just want to remind her that we should all be careful of what we say in front of the kids. So how?!!!

H's first day in Year 1

Today marks H's first day in Year 1. I think I'm just excited as he is. He seems to like his brand new school, being all smiley in the morning despite having to wake up at 6:30am. The school set up is definitely way better than his previous school. I especially like the classroom - very spacious and cheery, with full height windows overlooking the garden outside.

Let's hope everything works out well and that he enjoys going to school :-)

View from the canteen. H's classroom is the one on the right (ground floor)