Flip flopping decision on H's education

Sometimes I think we parents think too much. I wonder if our parents ever put that much thought into which school to send us to when we were younger. I think my dad's decision was based solely on convenience, i.e. the closest school to home.

Once again we find ourselves debating on which school to send H to. I thought we had it all figured and concluded that H will go to a public chinese school for his primary years. But this subject is now open again...

Public chinese school was a clear option when we weighed all the pros and cons earlier. Granted there are all these horror stories about chinese school teachers, crazy workload, etc. but we wanted H to learn mandarin and are prepared to supplement his school time with outside activities to ensure that his creativity and command of English do not slip. Besides, we figured that kids should learn how to take hardship, life is not always rosy and they should not be over-protected. We do not want out kids to turn out to be brats with the sense of entitlement.

But our observation of H is getting us worried. H is just too passive or reserved. It takes a whole lot of cajolling before he would speak up or participate. He's afraid to bend rules, make mistakes and be judged. Simply put, he lacks assertiveness. And this is a problem. No matter how good you are academically, you will not fare well in life if you lack assertiveness. Although we've known this about H all along, we thought we could help him boost his confidence by enrolling him in drama and sports classes, but so far we've not seen much improvement. The trigger point was when I asked him about school a few nights back and he just kept quiet. I had to probe, probe and probe (in a nice and playful manner) before he divulge about his friends. I'm not even sure why he can't or won't talk about what he does in school, about his teachers and his friends, etc. He's only 4+ now and he can't talk to his mommy. I can't even bear to imagine what it will be like when he's a teenager. Will he then shut us out of his life? Is H afraid that he will say something inappropriate and that we will judge him? We've never judged him or belittled him before, ever, so how can this be so? All these unanswered questions are bugging me. So I talked to Hubs and we think that perhaps H, with his personality, is not suited for the chinese school environment as it will only reinforce his passiveness. We're still not sure if a private or international school will do him good but at least he'll be forced to speak up and express himself (hopefully). And with the many years of training he should be able to change.

Meantime, I've bought this book "Cool, Calm, Confident : A Workbook to Help Kids Learn Assertiveness Skills" so that I can start teaching H how to be assertive. Can't wait for the book to arrive, this will be our new bedtime story!